𝖒𝖈𝖞𝖙 𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖘𝖙 𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖙𝖘

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

TW: Suicide

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The green bandana was tight against his wrist, tied neatly in a bow as Tommy clawed his way up the high mountain. 

Have yourself a very merry Christmas. 

Tommy smiled softly as he reached the top, the top of L'Manburg visible, its spruce roofs peaking out into the sky. 

It was so.. beautiful. 

Let your heart be light

Everything they had built. 

And a big, magnificent Christmas tree rose through the middle. It was the first time Tommy had seen it. 

From now on, all our troubles will be out of sight

The frost bit at Tommy's lips and his cheeks, snow falling in piles around his shaking legs. 

Have yourself a merry little Christmas

But inside L'Manburg, he could see fires lit and flickering, and shadows chasing each other happily. 

Make the Yuletide gay

And if he closed his eyes, he could pretend that he was next to the fire, with Tubbo and Wilbur. The fire warmed his cheeks and Tubbo leaned into his shoulder, sleeping. And they knew they were safe, because Wilbur was there, checking the presents under the tree. 

From now on, all our troubles will be miles away

But when he opened them again, 

He was alone. 

His arms shivered in the cold, uncovered, and his legs shook. 

He didn't even try to cover them. 

Here we are as in olden days

Cold, stiff fingers slowly unknotted the green bandana, a flash of bright spring against the desolate white. 

Happy golden days of yore

His hands shook as they used the last of their strength to tie the bandana sturdily around his neck, resting on his heart. 

Faithful friends who are dear to us

His thumb rubbed against the fabric, remembering. Springtime and lilacs still painted the fabric. 

Gather near to us once more

He held the fabric close to his heart so that hopefully he had someone, something with him. 

Maybe he could pretend that he was still there. 

He was scared. 

He didn't want to die alone. 

Someday soon we all will be together

One hand clutched into the rough fabric as he stepped up to the steep, jagged stone cliff. He kept his eyes on L'Manburg, on home. 

He just wanted to go home. 

If the fates allow

A smile shook against his face, a big smile. One hand clutched the green bandana tightly, holding on tightly. 

It was the only thing left that he hadn't given. 

He had given everything. 

Hang a shining star upon the highest bough

He took a deep breath, and it swirled into the wind, floating away from him. 

And have yourself

He was crying. 

Why was he crying?

Icy droplets shook down his pale cheeks, dropping down, down, down the cliff. 

He looked up at the clear, light blue sky, trying to remember it. 

It was such a pretty blue.  

Like Tubbo's eyes, and the L'manburg flag, and Wilbur's uniform waving in the wind. 

A merry little Christmas

And he focused his eyes on the sky, tears spilling down his cheeks as he smiled, blurring the sight. Snow tanged against his tongue. 

And he felt his stomach drop, but his eyes were still trained on the sky. 

It really was a pretty blue. 

Now. 

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Hehe 

First oneshot! 

12/6/2020