No Noël | ✓

24 » no more mistletoes for you

24 » no more mistletoes for you

❅

The little flurries from earlier had turned into a full out snowstorm by the time I reached the last exit on the highway. Every reasoning I had to hate Christmas came rushing to my mind with every painfully long minute of my one hour and eighteen minute drive.

The windshield wipers were moving furiously to try pushing away the snow, but it kept coming back, and I barely had more than half a second of room to see out each time.

For the briefest moment, I had pictured my grandfather. Exactly two years ago, almost at this exact time, he had been driving. The snow was falling similarly to the way it was now. And some drunken asshole decided to drive, out of all days and all times.

I wondered if Abuelo had even seen it coming. If he had been prepared in any way.

I quickly shook the thought away. It was depressing, and sad, and extremely fucking morbid. Those weren't any of the things that needed to be on my mind.

I had decided to try this new thing where I went at least one day without letting my misery take over.

Tonight was the start of that.

After circling a few blocks that looked the same—because every house in Long Island had always looked so identical to me—I found the address Avery sent. The snow was still falling hard and it was even darker out here than in the city since there were barely any streetlights, so it was hard to tell. I sent Avery a text that said I'm here, just to make sure.

I'll be right out, she replied quickly. It made my palms sweaty. I knew I had driven all that way to see her, to talk with her, but the fact that she was so close and on her way out made it finally dawn on me what I was doing.

There was no time to panic or rethink it. I was already there, and I knew that despite my worries, I wanted this. I had for a while now, and it was about damn time I stopped pretending that I didn't. It was about time I finally did something about it.

That didn't mean I wasn't nervous as all fuck, though.

Avery stepped out of one of the houses, and on instinct, I exited my own car. The snow seemed to have let up, back to the slow and light flurries that I'd been standing in earlier.

"You're giving me stalker vibes," Avery said in greeting as she walked closer.

I met her halfway up the long driveway, under a regular tree that was decorated with Christmas lights and other decorations. "How am I a stalker? You gave me the address."

"Yeah, but the fact that you wanted it and actually drove an hour to get here comes off stalker-ish," she said as she stopped walking, leaving us a few inches apart.

"It was more than an hour," I corrected, placing my hands in my pockets.

"How much more?"

"Like, eighteen minutes."

She sucked her teeth and waved a dismissive hand. "Drama queen."

I chuckled, liking the calm and easy atmosphere we created. It was different from how things used to be when we first met. I thought of those days, how our time at my favorite Chinese food spot had been the first time we'd truly talked and bonded.