[ Intricacy ]
Noise and intricate emotional wreckage
My life, bound to a past and a future that already seem to be falling
Sporadic shivering, at times the overthinking is weighing on me
It's with no doubt
To let go will be a step into commencing my healing
And rebuilding all these falling wings of mine
I am an arch angel to my own dreams
When the night falls, the childhood era comes screaming;
The terrors that moulded me, and every pain I deemed impossible to let it go
I hardly slip into dreamworld
For these dreams I fail to reach during the day they haunt me
I wish to wash all these sadness on my throat
And these heavy gulps I take, fail to fade with the stories I can't bear on my mind
These bleeding empty temples foreign to prayers, also fail to retain all my mental chaos
It is so easy to break in the middle of family reunions
So easy to melt down to nothing in the middle of an applause meant to embrace my greatness
I am empty, I think sometimes
Until the days where the depression weighs my head into pillows
And I try so hard to get out of bed all in vain
Maybe I should learn to live with all this war inside of me
With corpses of my dreams, beginning to contaminate the air in my lungs
Maybe I should let go of letting go
How many times will I turn myself numb?
Just so the bleeding can be called art because it is black ink instead of blood
I am tired of being tired attempting to put myself back into one piece
I yearn peace, a word that hardly tastes my lips
I yearn me, a soul that myself I hardly feel its essence
Will I ever find myself in peace held all together by the prayers I cease not to weep? Will I?
[ ©Mofenyi Nkadimeng ]
[ 2020 ]
