fireworks ★ sakuatsu

letter.

dear o̶m̶i̶-̶k̶i̶n̶   sakusa,

i should probably stop calling ya that now, yeah? my hand is gonna hurt so bad after this :(!!! i dont know if you noticed but i started to have trouble funktioning(i think thats how its spelled. if its not dont make fun of me alright?)a few months after being admited here. if your reading this, it means im no longer here. since i was to much of a wuss to be all sappy talkin' to ya in person, im writing down a few things i wanted to say but never could. 

i love you. im not saying this as a second confesion and im not saying it romantically.  i just want you to know you mean the entire world to me. wait no scratch that, you mean the entire universe to me. yeah that sounds right lolllll. anyways, even though im gone, i dont want you too give up alright? i  want you to live your life for me. dont let me dying get in the way of that. also i really enjoyed youre company, like anyone else would once they got to know you. i bet you didnt know that the night you said happy birthday i heard you! im sneaky huh??  dude i cant explain how much i look up to you even though your younger then me, i really wish i couldve been as awsome as you!! i care about you kiyoomi. alot. and it makes me happy knowing that you cared about me. i could never be able thank you enoufh for just that, honestly. im greatfull for all of the nights that you spent with me and all of times you took me to see the fireworks. i kept track of how many times we went to see them, and as of writing this, its 48! can you belive that? i know im starting to forget things, but these little things are the things i wont ever forget. and i wont forget you either.

i dont know how to end this letter or tell you goodbye. and if im being honest i dont think i can. im so proud of you omi-omi, your so strong. once again, thank you for being my friend and being there for me, it sucks that there wasnt a happy ending planned for me. stay well and stay safe. (if i find out you arent ill come back from the depths of hell and kick your ass.)  i wouldnt be suprised if you didnt read this at all, but if you do please keep it, it'd mean so much to me. i feel like i have so much more to say but i dont want to annoy you, so i guess this is it. i love you. 

sincerly, tsumu♡

sakusa stared down at the paper in front of him with a blank expression. he wished he didn't read the letter, he could've just thrown it away. he could still throw it away if he really wanted to, but he couldn't bring himself to do that for some reason. kiyoomi had lied when he said he didn't feel the same when atsumu told him he loved him. he did feel the same, and he now regretted not telling him that. catching feelings for his dying best friend was what he feared the most, because he knew he'd lose him and those feelings would only make grief worse once he was actually gone. 

sakusa glanced over the paper several more times before putting it down. he felt tears start to burn and well up at the corners of his eyes, so he tilted his head back to look at the ceiling and blink them away. letting out a loud sigh, he held the letter close to his chest and mumbled, "i love you, too."

so why was atsumu so fond of fireworks?

it was because they reminded him of sakusa.

but now, 

they would remind sakusa of atsumu.