A World Like That

Chapter XV

-Ariel-

Five days had passed since Jael's attack. Jael was feeling well enough to fly but decided to stay in Heaven one more day. When he offered to stay with him again, Jael insisted he go down to Earth and spend some time exploring. Normally he would have appreciated this, but it meant he would have to face Dante.

He landed quietly behind Dante when he spotted him. Dante must have sensed his presence, because he turned away from the water. When Dante saw him, he broke into a smile and wrapped him in a hug.

"Where were you?" Dante asked, squeezing him tightly. "I was worried. I started thinking something had happened to you, but I didn't know how to find out."

He pulled back, looking straight into Dante's eyes. He wished he could see some kind of emotion in the demon's eyes. Or anything at all - any kind of change, no matter how subtle. But whenever he looked at Dante, it was the same - solid black.

"Ari, are you okay? Where were you?"

"I was up in Heaven. I haven't been to Earth in a few days."

"Why? Did something happen?"

He wanted to know if Dante had attacked Jael, but at the same time, he didn't want Dante to know anything more about his friends.

He shook his head. "Nothing happened. I just didn't feel like coming down here."

"You didn't want to see me?" Dante asked, a plaintive note to his voice.

He wouldn't look at Dante. He couldn't. Dante, of course, picked up on that immediately.

"What did I do wrong?"

He finally snapped, looking right into Dante's flat, expressionless eyes. "You're you. I don't know what we're doing. This isn't allowed and it's a bad idea. I can't be friends with someone when I can't tell what they're feeling. The eyes are the windows to the soul, but there's nothing in yours. I don't see any emotion when I look into your eyes. I don't see anything at all."

Dante stepped back, clearly caught off guard by his outburst. "I can't be anything other than what I am. But just because you can't see it in my eyes doesn't mean I don't care about you."

"How do I know? I don't think you can feel anything."

Dante stared at him for a long time before finally speaking again. "You're wrong. I feel for you. But if you don't care for me, there's nothing I can do. I'm sorry it disturbs you to look at me."

He didn't know what to say, and he avoided Dante's eyes again. He suddenly felt bad for making Dante feel bad. He didn't know what that would manifest as, and with everything that had happened recently, he wouldn't be surprised if Dante reacted in anger. He still hadn't asked Dante where he was the day Jael had been attacked. 

He glanced back at Dante and was startled to see liquid pooling in his black eyes. A tear spilled over and ran down Dante's face.

He was shocked. Demons didn't cry. They laughed, and snarled, and growled. They weren't sad.

But this demon standing in front of him was sad.

It was true that Dante's eyes hadn't changed - they were still the same pool of black - but the tears were something new.

"If you're repulsed by me and don't like me, I'll go," Dante said quietly. Before either of them could speak another word, he flew off.

-Dantalion-

He had cried once or twice before out of frustration, but never because he felt hurt by someone else. Ariel's words had blindsided him and hurt him deeply. He'd had no idea that his eyes bothered Ariel that much. Everything had been fine before Ariel went missing for a few days, but it was like a switch had flipped and Ariel didn't want anything to do with him anymore. Ariel seemed angry with him, but he wasn't sure why.

There were a lot of questions he'd wanted to ask, but he had waited for Ariel to provide more of an explanation. But an explanation never came. Standing there in silence and feeling Ariel's friendship slipping away had been heartbreaking. He'd just wanted Ariel to say something. Anything.

He couldn't sleep. He stared at the stalagmites in his chamber, and even though it was hot around him, he felt cold. Ariel didn't want him. He wanted to be mad at Ariel, but he couldn't blame him. He wasn't pleasant to look at with his solid black eyes, razor sharp teeth and bare wings. He was unlovable.

Even though he didn't believe in love, he wanted to be wanted. He didn't want to lose the one friend he felt he could truly be himself around. Not being able to see Ariel every day would be unbearable, but what was almost more unbearable was losing what could have been. Ariel meant so much to him, and he didn't even know it. Ariel had no idea how much he brightened his days, or how attracted he was to him, and not just to his body, but to who he was. He wanted to be with Ariel, but now they weren't going to be anything at all, not even friends.

He rolled over and curled into a ball, covering his head with his arms. He didn't want to risk anyone hearing him cry.

-Ariel-

He tossed and turned well into the night. The guilt was eating him alive. He'd been so mean to Dante - insulted him for something he had no control over, and then insinuated that he didn't want to be friends with him anymore. A shock of pain coursed through his heart when he pictured the tears pooling in Dante's eyes, and the thought of hurting the friend he'd come to truly care for made him start to cry.

Dante probably felt abandoned. He thought about what the rest of Dante's life was like and how his time on Earth and time with him were probably the one bright spot in Dante's life. Dante needed him as a friend and obviously cared about him given his worry when he hadn't shown up for days, and in return, he'd rejected Dante so cruelly.

Sitting up, he wiped the tears from his face and wandered out to one of the marble gazebos. He felt so terrible that he was making himself sick. He sat down on the top step of the gazebo and slumped against one of the posts.

He didn't know how long he sat there, tears rolling down his face, but eventually he heard a voice.

"Ariel?"

He turned and saw Laila sitting down next to him.

"Are you alright?" she asked, worry etched across her face. "Do you want me to get Charmeine?"

"No, don't wake her up. I'm okay."

"You don't look okay." She reached up and brushed a tear from his cheek.

"I did something I regret."

Laila gently rubbed his back, not pressing for more details.

"I said hurtful things to someone I care about. I wish I could take it back."

"Why can't you? Is there some reason you can't talk with them and apologize?"

He took a shuddering breath. "Laila, how did you know you loved Charmeine?"

Smiling, she sat back, a content expression easing across her face. "Lots of ways. I wanted to see her every day. I missed her when she was gone and I looked forward to the moment I saw her again. I worried about her and wanted to do everything I could to make sure she was safe and happy, even if it came at my own expense."

"I think I could feel that way about the person I hurt. But I'm afraid no one else will like him."

"Do you like him?"

He nodded.

"Then that's all that matters. Let everything else fade away and think about how you feel."

Laila was right. He couldn't just take his friendship away from Dante. He shouldn't have let what others said about demons get in the way of how he felt about Dante. Their experiences weren't his. He liked Dante, and even though Dante's eyes bothered him, he still wanted to be around him.

"Thank you," he whispered, leaning over to give Laila a hug.

"Anytime."