Daffodils only Bloom in Spring

10

"So," Jungkook began once the two were far enough away from the group, the solemnity of the atmosphere having dissipated and been replaced by raucous laughter and shouting. The atmosphere between the two boys though, was anything but cheery. "What is it you wanted to talk to me about?" he asked, forcing a smile.

"Jungkook, come on," Hoseok let out a sigh. "You don't need to pretend like you're fine. I know my words hurt you and I am really sorry. I just want to know what's going through your head right now."

The younger sat down on the floor, holding his head in his hands, Hoseok following suit. "I don't know what I'm thinking, Hobi. I guess I'm just stressed with this whole situation and it's getting to me. I know I'm the one who's always messing around and acting stupid but I think it's dawning on me how dangerous this really is. I'm sorry, I-"

"Hey, you're not going to be apologising, mister," Hoseok interrupted. "You have every right to feel the way you do. I hurt you and I just want you to talk to me, okay?" After a small nod from the younger he continued in a near-whisper, "Was it me calling that girl a good fuck?"

Despite the low volume at which these words were spoken, Jungkook still found himself involuntarily flinching, the action giving the older his answer. He was about to say something when Jungkook beat him to it. "Please don't get me wrong. I'm not jealous or anything like that. I don't mind who you've slept with, or when. We're not even in a proper relationship, right? We've known each other for what, a week?

"It's just the way you talked about her, I guess. And I know you were just being honest and what you said is what goes through everyone's head when they're looking for a one night stand, whether they like it or not. It just sounded really vulgar coming from you. 'Cause that's how we met. And I don't think I've ever been insecure or anything but- ah this is going to sound so stupid."

Jungkook let out a breath before continuing. "I had a pretty big crush on you before that night. We'd never actually talked and I really wanted to but I guess there was never a good enough excuse. I was just some boy one year below you. But I talked Jimin's ear off about you, about your academic achievements and your performances. And then that night was a dream come true. I finally got to talk to you. And it seemed like you were enjoying yourself too. And even the morning after, you were so sweet, saying you wanted to hang out again.

"But anyway, hearing you say that, the way you said it. It seems as though sex is a pretty important thing to you and I'm just the slightest bit scared. Because I've barely had sex, only once while I was completely sober." A soft smile graced Jungkook's face, seemingly at the remembrance of a distant memory, before he shook his head slightly and his face turned neutral again. Hoseok watched him intently, deciding not to comment on the action. "So I don't have a lot of experience. What if I'm not good enough? Would you not want to be with me if that were the case? Those were the kinds of things going through my head. And I know you're not that shallow of a person and I'm sorry if I offended you. I was just overthinking and I want to be honest with you."

"Oh, Jungkook, I'm so sorry. Is it okay if I give you a hug?" Once the younger had nodded, Hoseok wrapped his arm around Jungkook's shoulders, Jungkook's head coming to rest on the red-head's shoulder. Hoseok leaned his head against the younger's own.

"Please don't apologise. You didn't offend me in the slightest. Like I said, your thoughts and feelings are completely understandable. But I don't want you to ever doubt yourself, especially because of me. You weren't just a one time fling to me. Granted, I don't remember as much as I would have liked, but like you said, I was having a good time and I genuinely enjoyed your company. The sex was just an added bonus.

"And please remember that just because we slept together on the first night we met, does not mean that you're obligated to have sex with me again anytime soon. I doubt that would have happened anyway, given the circumstances, but you know what I mean," Hoseok chuckled. "I genuinely want to get to know you, okay?