🚫STRONG LANGUAGE AND SELF HARM TRIGGER WARNING🚫
I sit on my bed crying. Why me? What have I ever done? Why do people hate me? I scroll through my Twitter and see more hateful tweets. 'Go die you slag' 'Niall deserves someone who doesn't look like a hobo' 'why the fuck are you even here bitch'. There so mean, I know if I kill myself then I'll be giving them the satisfaction they want, most comments say I'm to fat and I know I'm fat. Recently I've been making myself spew, I put my phone down on the bed and walk to the bathroom, I kneel down infront of the toilet seat, stick my fingers down my throat and gag. I spew. I do have to admit, I've lost weigh, I really hope Niall hasn't noticed, won't notice.
*THAT NIGHT AT DINNER*
I sit and pick at my spaghetti bologneis, I'm really not hungry but I have to eat. Nialls looking at me funny. It's starting to get anoying.
'What?' I snap
'Not hungry?'
'Not really'
After that little confrontation I eat, I eat all my food. About 20 mins later I start to feel sick. I walk out of the living room, once I'm out of Niall sight I sprint to the bathroom, quickly lock the door and fall to my knees and threw up.
'Princess, are you okay?' Niall knocks on the door.
I don't reply, I can't reply, I just keep throwing up. Niall keeps knocking
'I'm coming in' he warnes me
I hear him fiddling with the lock, he bursts through the door and falls to his knees aswell. I feel his hand on my back in a soughing motion.
I finish thawing up. I start crying.
'I'm sorry' I weep
I tell him everything, about the hate and making myself sick. By the time I'm finished he's in tears.
'I'm so sorry' tears running down my face as I lean head against his chest
'Stop hurting yourself please' he whispers 'I'll help you, I promise'
