YOUR NEW BOYFRIEND

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"ARE YOU GUYS FUCKING SERIOUS??"

"well that's a way to start a conversation.." wilbur stared blankly at techno.

"i'm not talking to you.. i'm talking to the three dipshits to your left." techno made a noise of confirmation before turning his attention back to his book, The Art of War by Sun Tzu. "woah wil you gotta respect your elders.." tubbo giggled, not trying to hide his obvious stare at phil. "yeah mate chill, wouldn't want grandpa to have a heart attack would you?" tommy finished. phil sharply inhaled before ignoring the two youngest. 

"so did you talk it out like.. you know.. responsible adults..?" 

"hestarteditwhyshoulditrytoputineffortwhenhesjustafuckingdickhead." wilbur mumbled, obviously not wanting to deal with phil scolding him early in the morning. "anyways, do you guys know where you're staying at the dorms?" wilbur asked, but it was more of a statement as he desperately tried to change the subject. the oldest just rolled his eyes. 

"apparently my roommate was caught smoking crack so i won't have a roommate this semester." ...silence filled the air as the group tried to decipher whether or not techno was joking. deciding that he was, in fact, not, wilbur faced the youngest. "we're on the 4th floor, phil is staying at his apartment because he's a simp." tubbo stated, smile not leaving his face as he spun his and tommy's keys on his finger. "me and kristin are finally moving into the apartment." phil explained to the tallest, squeezing his eyes shut in humiliation at the fact he had to tip toe to tell him. 

"kristin and i." ... "it's kristin and i.." 

"shut the fuck up techno."

"i'm on the 4th floor too, but they haven't said who my roommate was." wilbur sighed before placing a hand on phil's shoulder and giving him a small smile. despite the constant (and at this point repetitive) old and simp jokes, he truly was happy for his friend. 

"SHIT TOMMYHJKWHS WE'RE GONNA BE LATE WTFYGIWHHW" tubbo babbled before gripping onto his best friends hand and sprinting towards the film building, the gremlin built teen's long limbs whipping in the wind. 

"my classes end at 4:30 and tubbo said his and tommy's end at around 4:50-4:55. should we meet up at the cafe after?" phil beamed, clearly wanting to spend time with his friends. "...my classes end at 4:25 thanks for asking." both men jumped at the monotone voice. he went so silent earlier that they completely toned him out. 

"sorry do you wan-" phil was cut off by techno turning around and heading towards the english building. 

"i wish i could but... i should probably move in and meet my new roommate first." the disappointment was clear in the taller's voice, but he still had priorities. "oh shit i forgot about that. it's fine mate." phil shot him one last smile, and wilbur turned around and headed towards the history building.

"let's see what fucked up shit god has for me this year."

🧸

"if you have any questions, email me. i cannot promise any responses. get out." 

wilbur lifted his head from his desk and dragged his body out of the chair he was glued to for hours. he pulled his keys out of his pocket, inspecting the bold 127 embroidered into the faux leather the keys were connected to. "well.. it can't be that bad" he groaned, before pulling out his phone