Can Broken Heart Beat Again

Chapter 1

I am three months pregnant now and no matter how much I wanted to whine about it being hard, I can't. Mostly because when I discovered my pregnancy, I was way over the morning sickness period, We werewolves just have four to five months of pregnancy period which is a little longer than normal wolf but shorter than normal human gestation period. And secondly because, this stupid family won't leave me alone, almost every dinner I eat with one or other member of this crazy family that I just started to call mine. They tried their best to make sure that I won't have to face any problem as a single mother. So each night I get one of the boys as she calls them at my door with food though I am still not on talking terms with the leader of this pack I know she made sure that no one asks me rude questions like, why I am disrespecting their beloved alpha or whether I am going to take beta title as mate of the previous beta. They didn't speak these questions but more often I would see them in the eyes of some but other than that everyone was pretty accepting toward me.

I spent my days with the pack helping anyone and everyone I could with little tasks. I have also started helping in cooking lunches in the packhouse, I also spend some of my time with children. To be honest, when I started doing that I was terrified, I didn't know anything about kids. I don't know how to talk to them or how to...I don't know... be around them. And the younger they get, the more difficult and terrifying being around them gets. Sorry baby Jay, it's not you, it's me. I am trying hard to learn how to take care of kids even one with a tiny little body that looks too delicate to even touch. And yes, I have decided to name you Jay or something similar to that, irrespective of your gender. I think I'll be able to find a proper name which in short would be Jay with the help of the rest of your family or at least Jay could be your middle name.

I want you to take after your dad, every single thing of you. I want you to be all him, so I would have him in you. You are my only link left of him and goddess knew I want him to keep me sane. I have been alone for so long to know that I can't go through that again. I have got a taste of family life and I knew I can never leave it behind.

Speaking of family, it's about time someone would come for dinner and I think it would be Tyler today. He has been more frequent with his visit than others which doesn't mean that I had to eat alone at a single night. I always had someone with me and I knew they all are just one call away. My relation with Tyler has grown tremendously over a few days, we have been spending a lot of time together, talking about anything and everything. I cherish our friendship.

My thoughts came to halt when the doorbell rang and I went to open it. I might have been a bit slow but it's not like I could help it I am walking with the weight of two which means I am a bit bigger than I used to be. But the person on the other side didn't seem to have enough patience as he has rung the bell again as I opened the door and there, he stood in all his impatience glory. He looked tired probably from all the patrolling duty he has taken on himself, but not tired enough to hide the mischief in his eyes. He had aged in these past few months but his eyes still made him look like the kid all the stories made him be.

"You can't be patient enough for me to open the door."

"Hey, it's nice to see you too and no I can't."

"Tell me why I even spend time with you." I teased him as I let him in. I would never agree to any of them that I cherish the dinner I eat with the family, my family.

"I am assuming that you didn't bring anything with you as always," I mocked him.

"No, cause even if I did. We wouldn't have been able to eat it. I never really needed to learn to cook as I used to eat with guys and as the workload increased we had less time so I started eating at packhouse and now sometime at your place. So, there is no need for me to learn," he told me innocently.

I already knew that he can't cook so I prepared dinner, I just like messing with him. I enjoy his company it brings lots of joy in my usual mundane day and little Jay also enjoys his company as he or she starts making their presence known everything he came.

"Raven, Eddy told me to inform you about the meeting with other leaders of this new council which will be held in Vampire's clan next week."

"But why are you telling me I will not be attending it," I told him as matter of fact.

"Eddy, Adrian, and I will be going to attend it and since you are the acting beta of the pack and pack would be in your hands in our absence."

"Me? I can't. I don't know anything about leading a pack or even being part of one. And I am not strong enough."

"Yeah, you can. And I had the first-hand experience with your strength so I have every right to tell you that you are one of the strongest wolves I ever had the honor to meet. What is this nonsense about not being part of the pack, you have been part of this pack from the moment Eddy accepted you officially as a pack member?"

"How could I protect pack; can't you see I'm pregnant."

"Even I told Eddy how would you protect the pack in this condition, which earned me a well-deserved slap, and let me tell you my head still hurts. She told me never to underestimate the power of mother's love...She is not forcing you to do anything you don't want; she just wants you in the loop as it's your right to know about these things. Kyle and Stephen would be here to help you in any way possible. Raven I know I don't have any right to tell you what to do but Eddy...she is not a villain in your story and I can understand if you hate her but.."

"I don't hate her," I cut him off as I feel this need to clear things a bit to him. I know I don't need to explain anything to anyone but for once I want someone to know, "I don't hate her but...I feel this anger for not being able to save him that if I don't put my anger on her then it would be directed at me. It would remind me how weak I am to not being strong enough to save the one person who accepted me with an open heart and open hand, and I've felt weak for so long that I could not do it again. I can't hate myself more than I already did. I know it's unfair to her but I... this is the best I could do now."

I closed my eyes not having the strength to look him in the eye. I flinched when I felt something wet on my hands and I cursed myself for crying. Goddess knew I had done enough of that in these past days. Tyler slipped his hand to hold mine making me look up and the look of understanding in his eyes made the storm in my head died down a little. No words get exchanged after that and I don't think there was any need for them as we continued our dinner in comfortable silence and I felt the weight on my heart shift a little.