When We Lost Each Other | TaeGyu Fanfiction

>SUMMER THREE<

~SUMMER THREE~

+You're not the only one+

My Gyu,

I actually didn't sleep last night, not because I was busy practicing for my comeback, but because of overthinking. I already lost you and I keep blaming myself for what happened, my manager was very worried about me so he gave me a month to rest. I will continue to write this for you. You said that you were suffocated because you couldn't cry, so I would like to apologized again, you were not numb but I turned you into one.

I miss your eyes too, it reminds me of my dog. I mean not literally my dog, but that dog we used to take care of. Remember how he used to run everytime we vist him? He's dead now, and that's what makes me sad even more. I am gradually losing every pieces of our memories physically, I am losing every physical memories that we shared, I am losing every pieces of you.

I have plans too, I imagined my life with you and it always incomplete without you. I imagined revealing our relationship to everyone, kissing and hugging you in front of everyone because I wanna let them know that I am so lucky to be your boyfriend. To let them see that I don't freaking care if they look at with disgust, but that was all part of my imagination, it will never happen. The society is full of narrow-minded people, full of unfair bastards, and even I tried my best to protect us, to protect you, I know that I will always fail, because even we fight together against the society, reality is always cruel. The society will always be against us.

Remember when I cried because when I called my parents and said that I like men, they got mad at me? Remember how they stabbed my heart as if a million of arrows has shooted me when they told me that they will disown me? So I had no choice but to hide the truth and told them that it was just a prank. Now tell me, how can I be brave?

I already accepted myself because the change will always start with me, but I need them too. I need their support, I need them because not most of the times I am strong enough to handle myself and my problems. I need my parents. Thank you because you stayed back then, but now, I'm still thankful that you left when I told you to. In that way, I could protect you from afar.

I am sorry if I told you to live your life without me. I know you can't and I know I can't. Sorry for breaking your heart, sorry for burning your soul, sorry because you fell inlove with a stupid coward like me. Sorry if I began this relationship but let go of it. Maybe if I forced myself not to love you, not to asked you to date me, maybe I wouldn't hurt you. Maybe you're still smiling genuinely, maybe you're crying because of joy and not because your heart was destroyed.

I am sorry to ruined you. I want to blame cupid because he shooted me at the wrong time. He shooted when the place is too crowded but the spotlight was on you. He shooted when I wasn't ready and pulled the arrow back when I fall already.

PLAGIARISM IS A CRIME
@zaydeemon