When We Lost Each Other | TaeGyu Fanfiction

>SUMMER EIGHT<

~SUMMER EIGHT~

+I'm thankful too+

My Gyu,

It has been a week since my manager gave me a month to rest, I'm still exhausted and I don't know the freaking reason, maybe because I am just missing you again and again. I always feel tired and sleepy, I have been crying silently and trying to live my life happily since that's what you want me to do.

That girl idol is really getting into my nerves this past few days! She's been spreading fake news about us again, I'm curious if her parents knows what she's doing in her life. I really hate her. When you left me, I tried to forced myself to love her but I really can't, I wanted to puke. It's disgusting to forced myself to love a different person. My heart only wants you, but I can't have you.

Remember how we spent Christmas together?

It was so fun because we went to a roller coaster ride and neither one of us were afraid. After that ride, we went to a Christmas ferriswheel to see fireworks display. We make out, this is embarrassing but yeah we did it inside that ferriswheel. I never regret that because it was you.

I don't know what I was thinking at that time and I brought you to a horror house. It's Christmas but I brought you there! But still, we enjoyed being there, maybe because we loved being with each other. I was so happy to spend my whole day with you. Thank you for that.

After we made fun at the amusement park, we went to Namsan tower to eat. I told you that I would pay for everything but you disagreed because we're dating each other, we should pay for it together. You said that ever since you dated me, we should do everything together. And I loved that....

Now reality slapped me hard. I won't be able to enjoy this upcoming Christmas because you're gone. You're not here for me anymore, and I have to force myself to do things alone. We used to do things together but I should get used to it. There will be no you on Christmas day and for more upcoming holidays...

Let's go back to your topic.

I have never expected that I would be able to received an invitation from writers gathering. I don't know if that's intentional or just a coincidence, I had a bad feeling about it since that girl idol was my date. I was about to ignore that invitation but I remember that you would be there with Yeonjun hyung, so I accepted it.

That game was supposed to be a fun game but it turned out bad. Yes, I enjoyed sucking your neck too, it felt like I went back to those days when I still had you. I'm grateful that I had a chance to kissed you again, in front of everyone and not being shy. Didn't even care if that girl was there, didn't even care what people would say about us. It was just us, being free.

After you got the award, you had to go back home because you felt sick. Is my kiss that bad? That it made you sick? I was praying for you to be fine. That girl saw how worried I was. She even asked if I'm gay, she said it's disgusting. I was hurt, if only you were there to protect me, I wouldn't be hurt.

I couldn't answer her back because I know that once she knows about what we had, and after what happened at that gathering...I am definitely sure that she would ruin you and your family, and worst, your friends. I know how important your friendship with Yeonjun hyung, Soobin hyung and Huening Kai is, so I had no choice again but to denied our past.

When I read about your diary, saying that you were fine physically but not emotionally...I badly want to go to your house and take care of you. I badly want to bring our relationship back again, but I know you know that I couldn't do that anymore.

My mind are full of questions. Why did this thing had happened to us? Why did we had to suffer? Why we should adjust for other people? When would be able to get our freedom? Why it has to be us? Why?

Those questions are killing me. No one could answer those pitiful questions, even me. I hate this situation. I hate myelf for pushing you away, I hate breaking up with you, I hate leaving and hurting you. I hate those people who took our freedom. I hate living my life without you. I hate everything and everyone except you.

Sometimes I am wondering, if I die...will the pain go away? Will they be happy seeing me die because I just want us to be free? If I die, will you get mad at me? I know you will.

I love you Gyu, and I want you to be mine again but I'm not selfish to keep you when it's dangerous for us. When everyone are against us, when everyone are taking you away from me. I am afraid Gyu, and I have no one to protect me, because I should to be the one who supposed to protect them...

I'm scared because I'm here, just all alone....

PLAGIARISM IS A CRIME
@zaydeemon