Vellichor

Part 37

I was dreaming of Sapphire, when someone shook me awake lightly. It was Jamal. My mother was standing beside him. I sat up and saw my mom had a plate of breakfast and a glass of orange juice. She placed the plate and glass on my white table and before she left she pointed to the food and said "Jamal, make sure he eats that. before you guys leave."

Jamal was sitting on my bed now, he looked at me with concern "So obviously you didn't pack." He got up and grabbed the plate and put it infront of me "Eat and then shower, I'll do your packing. I know how you pack."

I quickly gobbled down my food. I didn't realize how hungry I was until I swallowed the first bite.

After I brushed my teeth, shaved my face, and showered and put on clean clothes, I felt slightly better. When I came into my room. Jamal was zipping up my back pack. "Dude your big bag is already in the trunk, and don't worry about your tooth brush or tooth paste or any shower stuff. Alright I'm in the car. Come out when you're ready."

I took my debit card, three hundred dollars in cash, and my ID out of my coat and put it all in my wallet, then proceeded to walk to Jamal's car. Right when I was about to walk through the door. My mom stopped me. She put her hand on my arm. "Valentine, you don't realize it, but what she did, it was selfless, she really did love you, that much I know is true, use this time to think."

If it was any other day I would have become enraged at my mother's words, but I felt too broken to even react. I just nodded and walked out.

The first nine days of our road trip, Jamal showed an incredible amount of toleration for my shitty attitude and lack of enthusiasm towards anything. But on the tenth day even he cracked.

We were on a five hour mountain hike, this was the last thing we were doing before heading back home, something i usually would have been ecstatic about when Jamal said "Dude you do realize I'm getting married in a couple months right? And you're going to be my best man?" I looked up at Jamal with no emotion and said "I know."

Jamal stopped and huffed. "This was so fucking pointless. I thought I could bring you back into your normal. But I realize only you can do that." He zipped up his jacket and said "I'm going back down. We're leaving at 9 pm. So I suggest you shower and eat something before we leave." Then he left.

I stood there like a moron for a few minutes before I started to hike up for another half an hour. I was walking in my monotone state, when I saw someone sitting near a cliff. It was a teenage girl with medium length wavy brown hair.

She had a few helium balloons by her side with their strings tied to a rock so they didn't fly away. She was writing something in a journal, then ripped off that page, after folding it she tied it to one of the balloons and held it for a moment and then let it fly away.

I didn't know what the hell I was doing, watching this girl and I definitely didn't now what I was doing now. I walked up to her slowly and said "Hey are you alright, do you mind if I seat here with you?"

She smiled up at me with her piercing blue eyes and said "No I don't mind Sir, go ahead." Once I sat down a little further away from her I asked her "Hey can I ask what was that, that you were doing?" She laughed her childish laughter and said "I probably looked weird hey?"

I looked out to the scenery and said "No no, I was just wondering."

She continued writing in her journal and said without looking at me "I come up here sometimes, and I write a letter to someone....or sometimes I write a letter to an experience I had. Words I never got to say. Or words that are just lingering inside of me, stopping me from letting go of something."

I didn't know what I was doing asking a kid this question, but I looked at the girl and said "Do you think you can let go of the person you loved like the other half of you?"

She looked up at me now, and she laughed "No sir, I don't think we ever fully let go of anything. But I do think we can make peace with some things that torture us inside. Do you want to try?" I thought to myself, this kid was a genius.

I raised my eyebrow at her and said "How do I do that?" She passed me another journal she had by her side and a pen "First you need to write a letter, then just tie it to the balloon and let it go. That's all."

Once the pen hit the paper, it's as though my  heart itself was writing the words on the piece of paper:

(Sapphire, my love,
Me and my heart have not yet understood why you left, but I am trying to forgive you. I am sitting on a cliff with a girl half my age right now who writes letters and ties them to balloons and lets them go into the universe from mountains because she believes it helps her make peace with the things that torture her. And now she's offered me a pen, paper and balloon as well. So that's what I'm doing.
I promise I will try to live my life fully, but I hope you keep your word and find me in five years again, no matter where I am.

You don't know this but; The first time I saw you. You were laughing, catching fireflies with Gaspard in the same field I'd pick flowers and press them into my books. That's the moment I fell in love with you.

I love you Sapphire Taccarelli.

-Yours then and forever Valentine)

P.S. it's enough for me, to know we existed in all those moments together.)

Before I tied the letter to my balloon. I took out my phone and took a picture of it. Because I knew, no one would believe it happened. Jamal would definitely think I've gone crazy and was hallucinating. And also if I ever saw Sapphire again, I'd wanna show her.

The little girl and I let our balloons go together. I decided to leave after that but before I left I asked if she was okay here by herself and I asked her name. She said "Yes I come here all the time. My parents have a cabin here in the woods, about an hour away." Her name was Lily. I told her my name was Valentine and said that it was really nice to meet her.

When I got back to the Lodge I walked in and hugged Jamal really hard. Jamal hugged me back and asked what had happened to change my attitude. Once we were driving on the road. I told Jamal everything and showed him the picture I took. He was astonished at the event that had occurred.

I was driving as Jamal put his hand on my shoulder and said with nostalgia in his voice "Honestly man, doesn't it feel like we were 21 just a few months ago?" I laughed and said "Yeah it does." He looked out the window and said "These next five years are gonna go by so fast. We won't even realize it. We'll be sitting somewhere and we'll realize (Shit, it's been five years. We're thirty one now.)"

I smiled at Jamal and said "Yeah, maybe you're right about that." as we headed home.