Love Notes│MYG ✕ JHS

030 [alternate ending]

⚠️: homophobia

fun fact: this is originally how the book was supposed to end
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┌

i'm incredibly nervous right now. my hands are shaking.
i'm so scared. you're going to hate me.

-h

┘

yoongi frowned at the note in his hand. it upset him that the angel who had been writing these endearing notes for him thought he would reject her.

he folded and slipped the note inside his front pocket and gathered the last few things he needed from his locker. he slung his bag over his shoulder and began making his way out from the school's entrance. instead of filing behind the mass of students heading towards the buses or their cars, he turned and started walking to the back of the building.

in the near distance he could see the small hill topped with the cherry blossom tree famous for confessions and break ups. he could see a silhouette leaning against the aged wood of the trunk facing away from his direction. she seemed quite on the tall side for the girls at their school; he doubted he'd met her before.

he ambled towards the hill and made his way up the small slope, then stopped a few feet in front of the person now in clear focus.

"hoseok? what are you doing here?"

the person slowly turned around and both boys' eyes met. one pair wide with shock, and the other with a glint of nerves and a thin film of unshed tears.

"h-hi, yoongi-hyung."

"uh, hey, seok. are you okay?"

hoseok's shaking hands and nervous breaths were far from unnoticeable. he took a small step forward and his eyes fell to his feet.

"b-before you say anything," he took a deep, calming breath then continued, "i know you're going to hate me after this, but i have to confess. i can't just ignore these feelings anymore. i love you, yoongi," he breathed and lifted his teary eyes.

yoongi couldn't speak. he didn't know how to respond. hoseok, his best friend since early childhood, just confessed his feelings for him. how was he unaware of this?

"i realized i loved you a long time ago. you always make me feel so cared for. you were always there for me through everything, good or bad. you've always been right there when i need you, ready to comfort me. i always looked up to you hyung. but, a few years ago was when i realized it was more than just admiration; it was love. i'd fallen in love with you," hoseok crossed his arms over his chest and hugged himself tightly. he knew yoongi wouldn't return these feelings.

"hoseok-ah, i'm not gay." yoongi shook his head, eyebrows furrowed.

"i-i know. i like boys a-and you like girls. i'm disgusting," the tears now started to spill from hoseok's eyes and down his cheeks.

yoongi frowned awkwardly, "seok, you're, uh, just, ah, different, i guess. it is kinda weird."

hoseok sniffled, wiping the tears off his face with his sleeves. "i'm so sorry, hyung, i've ruined e-everything."

"i mean, now that you told me... can't you just, i don't know, stop? like, stop liking me or something?" yoongi asked, rubbing his neck stiffly.

the hurt on hoseok's face intensified, "my feelings aren't just something i can shut off, min yoongi. what i feel for you isn't just some silly crush, it's real. i can't just 'stop'," he frowned deeply.

"okay," yoongi raised his hands in surrender, "i'm just shocked right now, i guess. i didn't know that my best friend was a fag, nonetheless that he was into me," he shuddered slightly.

"hyung," hoseok gasped softly, eyes widened.

"oh come on, seok, did you seriously expect me to just accept that kind of news immediately? it's a bit weird don't you think. oh god... those notes" yoongi's voice trailed off, remembering all that he had read, "you're seriously into me!"

hoseok was crying again, tears flowing down his face as his body lurched with his silent sobs, "hyung, please, d-don't leave me. we've been t-together so l-long. i need you. i'm sorry! i'm so sorry! w-we're b-best friends still, right? please don't leave me!"

"i don't know if i can do this, hoseok. i feel uncomfortable," yoongi grimaced, "this is so weird."

"hyung, please, no! i'll get over it! just give me some time. we can go back to how we used to be and just forget it. please, yoongi-hyung!" hoseok cried.

"i don't know how to feel about this. i need to be alone right now. don't call me, please. i have to come to terms with this news. i have to think about you being gay, it's just, so weird," yoongi sighed, turning away from the other boy.

as yoongi walked away, his form fading into the distance, hoseok landed on his knees, holding himself tightly, crying out his heartbreak and the loss of his best friend.