The Alpha's Rebel

Chapter 21

"Vinnie!" I yell in a sing-songy voice, skipping into his and Molly's house. "I have something to tell you!"

There's no response, and since I'm the first one here, I take it that him and Molly are preoccupied with other activities right now. I head into the kitchen and look through the alcohol cabinet, trying to decide what the moods will be tonight. My eyes land on a large unopened handle of Bacardi.

I set it down on the counter, line up five shot glasses, fill each of them, down one, and fill it up again. I'm so used to the burn of vodka that the rum is a mere sting as it slides down my throat.

The front door opens and closes, and Thay enters the kitchen. His eyes land on me and the line up, and he smiles. I see the flash of pain in his eyes, though. His smile is real, and being around me isn't killing him, but every once and a while, looking at me is a reminder of what we used to be. I understand exactly how he feels, because I feel the same.

It's weird, and I don't know how to put it into words. I love Maddox with every particle in my body even though I haven't said those words to anyone yet. I would chose him over Thay in a heartbeat, but it physically pains me to think about choosing him over one of my best friends. Thay was one of my best friends before he was anything else to me, and that will never change. He was my first everything, and he will always hold a piece of my heart. Maddox is my mate, and I know I tried to fight it so hard at first, but I was kidding myself. Fighting the mate bond was like trying to swim against a current.

I still love Thay as one of my best friends, and nothing will ever change that. I'll be damned if Maddox tries to stop me from seeing him. It hurts knowing that I broke his heart, and even though I'm with Maddox now, breaking up with Thay broke my heart, too.

"Earth to Harp," Thay says, waving hand in front of my face from across the kitchen island. I shake my head to reset all the thoughts in my mind and grin. "What's going on?"

I could say nothing and move on, but Thay wouldn't buy my bullshit. He knows me too well. "Just thinking about you and Maddox and how shitty I feel."

"Harp, you should not be feeling shitty about any of this. I understand. I completely, one hundred and ten percent understand. I'd be mad if you stayed with me knowing that you wanted to be with him."

"I think that's why I can't stop feeling shitty," I smile, my words having a teasing undertone even though they're the truth. "You being so understanding is making it harder to not feel bad."

"Would you like me to be angry about it?"

"It might help."

"Okay. I hate you."

"Good enough."

We both burst out laughing. Thay knows I was joking when I said him being angry might have helped, and I know he was joking when he said he hated me. If Thay had actually ended up hating me for choosing to be with Maddox, I would have started crying and never stopped.

And I don't cry.

The other night with Thay was a first for me, and I don't want to feel that way ever again. I don't want to feel like I'm completely falling apart faster than I can build the pieces back up.

Harper Matthew's does not break.

Vinnie appears at the bottom of the stairs, shirtless and tousled hair that is a dead giveaway of what him and Molly were just doing. If it wasn't the hair, the smirk would be more than enough.

"You look pleased," I poke, leaning forward with my elbows resting on the counter.

"Of course I am. I got the best damn girl in the whole world," he boasts, eyeing the poured shots in front of me.