muladler
When you find an escape route, you run on it. As you run and run and run, you're on it long enough, you start to believe it's your life, or rather it's the path you should be on. Little did you know it was meant to be a temporary path to distract yourself away from the real marathon you should be running. As you run long enough on these tracks with fake grounding, you gradually believe that it is indeed a marathon you're running, when all you're doing is having your legs high in the air in a cycling motion that depicts the idea of running. You run on difficult grounds so long that you gradually believe you're meant to be here forever.
You gradually believe that you need to be in this current situation you're in. You think it's what you want as you're so used to this constant toxic routine. It's like creating a habit, but a really bad one.
As you allow yourself to have that mind set, that's where you start sinking and spiraling deeper into the well, thinking you're actually finally getting out of it, finally finding a way out of this when you haven't. It was all a lie. A lie you constantly told yourself, a lie you chose to craft and make believe.
Ultimately, we choose our own poisons; at least the ones we think we can take once in a while and still survive.
Why do we take these poisons? Because it makes life fun. and perhaps this is one of my poisons, choosing not to release the complete truth; just my version of the truth. Or who knows, maybe I will someday, when I feel it's time.