Incriminate Me

9:Are you a good liar?

"Humans need... fantasies to make life bearable."-Terry Pratchett

Now what?

I can't sleep that night. Forget keeping food down. Meeting with my client is a bland process, I try to focus but my mind isn't in it. I work long hours, late, fingers itching for something that I cannot even identify.

I pop caffeine pills and mix them with espresso shots and pain meds. I go to the pharmacy and pick up a bottle of antidepressants.

I observe them in my cabinet like a warning sign, glaring back at me that taking one is defeat. As if it is saying that I made a mistake.

Who the fuck am I trying to kid?

I did, didn't I?

My plan to get the blood checked to be Andrew's slips down the drain. I know the answer without having to jump through legal hoops to get it.

Kennecky's office is dark as we work in silence. Flipping through paper work for the last closings of Davis' case. I reach for my water bottle and throw back two more caffeine pills.

Kennecky watches me with those guarded eyes, but makes no comment.

I complete my section and push it towards him, taking the one he had previously done and skimming it for errors.

He doesn't talk much when it is just us.

I don't know if I prefer the loud still. There is a tension that hangs thick in the room, it makes the walls shrink in and my throat tight.

"When you are done with that you can go."

I shift in the seat,

"You haven't provided me with any of Andrew's case. Have you found out what the police know?"

Those eyes stay trained on the papers before him,

"If you are done, you can go."

I swallow whatever horrid noise that was rising in my throat. I purse my lips and close the file.

"You failed the Davis Case because you got too comfortable. It was a rooky mistake."

He doesn't look up. His words are cold,

"You know a lot about being too comfortable, don't you? Speaking to me like that. Asking for information. Going to the feds."

I watch him, waiting for some sign that he will acknowledge me. His eyes turn to his laptop and he continues his work.

I take my bag and leave.

Tanner's hands are warm as they wrap around me, pulling me into him.

"So have you thought about it?"

I stop trying to look at my schedule and turn my head to look back at him. He means moving in together. I slowly nod,

"A bit- yeah. I'm sorry, work has been crazy hectic."

He hums softly,

"Why don't you come out with me and the guys for drinks tonight? They'd love to get to know you better."

I am glad he doesn't press the issue, perhaps he can tell just how hesitant I am.

"Yeah, that sounds nice."

The bar is crowded, the group of 8 or so of us are gathered into a booth. There are fries and onion rings on the table and beers all around. I can't stand that bread water, but it is cool against my throat. It cools the heat in my cheeks. The tumble of my mind that is lost in a sea of choices.