Incriminate Me

4: To our dearest friend

"Fear has a large shadow, but he himself is small." - Ruth Gendler 

I don't remember how long I have been sitting here. I can't get up. The shaking has stopped, but replacing it is a creeping dread. How long have they been following me? Was it before or after Mick? 

Now what?

They know where I live. Where I work. My name. What I have been doing all these weeks. I am moving then, running to the bathroom and throwing up, heaving into the white bowl. Some of my hair dangles into the murky chunks. I wash it in the sink.

And then I see it, in the mirror. There is a circle against my neck where the gun dug into my skin, a fading mark. My fingers slowly trace the indent on my skin, slightly red, a cruel reminder.

I am tearing my clothes off, stumbling into the shower and scrubbing at my skin fiercely. I sink to the shower floor and let the water wash over me until it turns icy.

I stare at my phone. I consider calling the police. I consider asking for witness protection. I can see those eyes, dark and promising things that my imagination conveniently has drawn up in detail. 

He asked me to choose. Will he really kill Davis? Would that be on me? Is that on me? 

What even would I say to make them believe I had made it all up?

I sit down across from Agent Duglas. She fixes her files, but before she can open them I clear my throat, making her eyes jump to mine.

"Yes?"

I bow my head slightly and then lift it and hold her gaze.

"I was wrong. It's embarrassing- but. I was wrong."

She closes the folder.

"What do you mean?"

I swallow sharply,

"The charges were dropped by Williams family, plus a few of the witnesses were unavailable. I wasn't aware that Williams family had withdrawn the charges, so of course the case was closed quickly. Mr. Kennecky took on the case to push his support for a bill to help change the criminal system in regards to drug and substance abuse. It was an oversight of mine to not understand that the retainer was thus paid by the backing of Delegate Freeman."

She watches me with sharp eyes. I allow a flush to spread over my face,

"None of the evidence I gathered will hold up in court. And you are right the Bonnano family wouldn't spread themselves so thin as to expand to Chicago, which is already a war ground for gangs."

She slowly surveys me,

"Tell me Miss Canegallo. Did they get to you?"

I don't move, I push myself to show a confused expression,

"What- threaten me? And who do you mean by 'they' have you located the source of the gun?"

She tips her head to the side and then sighs,

"That came up as a dead end. It was registered to Mick ages ago. He shouldn't be carrying it due to his parole, but there is no proof that that oversight was intentional."

She ducks her head,

"The evidence for the Davis Case was all shown, the Judge states that he received all of it in whole outside of the courtroom and what the defense presented was just what they wanted to focus on, which is perfectly legal. If the prosecution doesn't bring a piece of evidence up that's on them."