Maniacs (Gotham)

Infatuation

[Future]

"Are you happy with where you are now?"

Brown tired eyes glanced around, staring at the bright walls. Her head shook from side to side, without vocalizing, speaking about the situation still caused her to feel shame. None of this should've happened - Her first mistake was not moving on from the loss of her beloved soulmate. This life she was living could have been prevented, but she couldn't let go of the past. It was not the first time these thoughts had been processed... but she truly meant it this time.

Second mistake; assisting Jeremiah blow up the bridges. Severe repercussions are always bound to follow up; it was only a matter of time. Part of her disliked that it had taken her forever to find the strength she needed to let go of the intense toxic feelings she shared with him. He'd been a beautiful, enticing beast, dragging her into a dark fantasy. But that's all it had been; a fantasy. She had to remove herself from the horrific, disturbing environment before it killed her.

Reese met eyes with the woman across from her. "Tell me." Her quiet voice felt like weightless breath, and tears glossed her once bright eyes - Practically begging. In reply, the woman's mouth curled downward, not knowing specifically what was being asked of her. "Please tell me 'I should've known', it's the truth."

A sigh came "Reese, I understand why you did this."

"No." The brunette whimpered and shook her head, feeling completely ashamed. A bright ray of sunlight had seeped through one of the windows. The idea of being out in the open seemed very pleasant, but she had no choice but to be confined "It's been three years, and I still get this huge lump that sits at my throat when I think about him."

"Do you love him still?"

"Um... Sometimes, I don't think it ever was love." She admitted, hugging her arms around her own body, "But I felt... I felt so... valuable."

The therapist's heart sunk, lamenting the young woman's terrible circumstances. The only way she felt loved was when someone else felt it for her, "Reese, you are so valuable, with or without him."

The smile she received wasn't as genuine as she'd wished, but it was something. It had been a long while since Reese smiled or felt genuinely content. "Thanks, I guess."

Progress, right?

"It's the absolute truth." Responded the woman, fidgeting with the ballpoint pen, twirling it between her fingers, "Listen, a big part of this rehabilitation is for you to understand that you matter. You can fend for yourself; you have done it your entire life." Reese nodded, joining her eyebrows as she listened intently to the therapist. Most days, she remembered these small conversations and applied them to her life. In other instances, she couldn't be bothered. "You're powerful, and even if you've used this strength to do mainly bad things, you have proven that you are capable."

"I don't know..."

The woman crossed her arms over her chest, clicking the pen's button in repetition - It annoyed Reese. "There's no other way anymore. You have to believe there is a path waiting for you."

Reese scoffed slightly. "A path? When the judge gave me this sentence, he had the most disgusted look on his face. And you know what?" Her eyes welled again, clenching her jaw as she bit back salty tears. Yet, it wasn't enough, and soon they were cascading. "I understand why."

"Reese -"

"I would never be allowed a seat in that family... because I don't deserve one."

The therapist frowned, not too fond of the answer. She was aware that Reese would sometimes feel this way; her brain wasn't always her best friend. It is justifiable for her to burst and get filled with self-doubt. Reese had gone through too much in the past few years - The media had gained a tight grip on her neck and bashed her and Jeremiah Valeska for the atrocity they'd committed. Gotham practically celebrated her capture, and this devastated her. Just knowing this eviscerated any hope left in her. It would be difficult for her to believe in herself once again. Sometimes, there'd be a glint of acceptance in her brown eyes that made the therapist content... then it'd be gone the next day.