Chapter Eighteen

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Why do you want me to tame the paradise that brought you here in the first place?

-down there.


My body is morphing into the pain that billows deep down in my soul.

Depression slowly creeps its way over my bones, searching for a leak to get in and make a home out of me.

-do you see me changing?


Do you remember the morning light when we stayed up all night.

The way you laughed at my silly jokes told me that we will never grow old.

I hope this is how it's going to be:

Me and you; forever seventeen.

-Amiola.


Autumn came and took you away and suddenly my thoughts turned grey.

But as the season changed my heart grew apart, the stains you once left flowered into distant art.

I never got the chance to say a proper goodbye, but I know I'll see you again when my time comes to fly.

-granny. (The grief in my body and the grief in my bones will always be the part of me that remembers you.)


There is a little flame of my heart that burns in your hands.

Whenever I feel like putting my fire out, you gift me a little spark and make sure that my fire burns just the same.

You light me up in the most peaceful way.

-my sisters, my light.


I don't a need a love that makes me feel special.
I need a love that makes me feel normal in all of my madness.

-does that make sense?


Can someone teach me how to want to be around people?

-lonely.


There is an empty space in my heart since you moved out.

Just like the empty rooms next to mine.

-L and A. I miss you.

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⏰ Last updated: Dec 26, 2020 ⏰

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