Chapter Eleven

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The less I am, the less there is to hate.

-eating disorder.


I still feel alone in a crowded room, looking for you.

-lost.


Let it out. Let it pour. Like a great thunderstorm. Be this beautiful yet terrifying mess. Let your body live this storm. Let it rain. Let it scream. Let it out.

-crying.


I am broken into tiny pieces. So please explain it to me. Which piece do you want to love? And what is going to happen with all the other ones? There are so many, sharper than broken glass. There is still dried blood from people who touched the pieces. like a warning sign.

-how can someone love me?


My greatest disappointment is myself. and that is not how it's supposed to be.

-someone help me, please.


Loneliness is a disease. You can talk to me but all I can hear is you whispering through the massive wall I've built around me. You can hug me but my skin feels as numb as my heart. I am sorry for that. but i am lonely. And loneliness is a disease.

-where is my medicine?


I need to understand that I am worthy of love even though I don't exactly know what love is.

-lesson no 1.


I am on a journey to find myself but i somehow know that i am never going to find me completely. so i need to learn to be okay with searching. the journey itself. i need to enjoy it. i need to live it.

-my journey.


You lived, before him. You are going to live, after him.

-"I can't live without him."


They say I should talk to someone about my problems.

They don't know that I am having an endless conversation with my papers at home. 

-writing is my therapy.




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