Chapter Thirteen

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My heart is naked with you. So pure and natural.

-friends.

You hurt like a cut from a paper.

Almost invisible but so so painful.

-ouch.

We are always available. We have our phones basically taped to our bodies. And because we know that we are available, we believe others are as well. We feel forced to be available. We're stuck in an endless circle of stress.

-what ruins relationships.

You can break your own heart. Family can break your heart. Friends can break your heart. Strangers can break your heart. Be careful out there, it's a heartbreaker world.

-fragile.

"You are so afraid of your own heart, so you give it away, you don't want it."

"It's too heavy for me."

"But that is what makes us strong, darling. We carry that deadly thing around, knowing exactly it could kill us. And still, we carry it."

-truth hurts sometimes.

I am not easy to love because I cannot love myself yet. You were everything in a moment. Until I remembered how I feel about myself, until I remembered the fact that I don't deserve love. You couldn't heal me. Even if you wanted/tried to. There is no apology for this, but believe me I am sorry. Sorry for letting you down, sorry for hurting you. Sorry for myself, because I did not appreciate the good in my life. There is someone out there for you.

Maybe even for me.

-to all the boys I've hurt before.


Lately, I start to see things more clearly. Like the way I was loved, like the way I am loved. And how I couldn't return all the love because I was so busy hating myself.

But I love. Everyday. Every minute. Every second. Every heartbeat.

-love is the most silent but yet loudest feeling.


You start a shitty day and try to make it okay.

-healing is not linear.

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