Good Enough ➳ Ross Lynch

007

Dear Ross

I've started throwing up the food again. My mum won't let me eat alone. Today after dinner I tried to get the food up for over an hour, tears ran down my face. I just couldn't get all the food up. I wish I was a normal person who didn't starve myself, I wish I wasn't scared of food. I wish I wasn't so damn obsessed with being skinny. But it is the only thing I'm good at, I have to prove to people that I'm good at something. 

After I realized that I couldn't get everything up, I stoop up and flushed the toilet and then washed my hands. I looked at myself in the mirror, I wanted to smash the mirror when I saw my self. I am nothing to be proud of, I'm just fat and worthless. I'm never good enough, at least that is what I have been told my whole life. Both at school and at home. But I'm sorry but this is all I can be, I have tried to change so many times and this is how I ended up. A stupid anorexic and depressed teenager. 

I couldn't handle it anymore, Ross, I'm sorry. But I found my razor blade and started cutting again. 

I need you much more than I realized. I love you, Ross.

Yours truly
Iris x