Heat

Families, fun and Jamie Oliver

"So how do you feel about Jamie Oliver?" I ask Tom as we drive down the ridge towards my parents unit right on the edge of Cudgen Creek and within spitting distance of the ocean.

"The chef? He seems like a nice man I suppose, I've been to his restaurant a couple of times why?"  he asks.

"Because you're about to be asked – in fact it doesn't matter what you've done on screen or stage – my mum will judge you on your Jamie Oliver love and nothing else!" I say.

Tom must think I'm joking because he laughs – oh god poor lamb to the slaughter. I feel mean driving him into the spider's web.

We'd left Stuart and Scott for some "alone time" and a snooze and headed down to my parents place to pick their portable air conditioner and another fan for Tom's room. I'd been quite happy to go on my own and let him sleep but he insisted on helping and as that thing is damned heavy, I wasn't going to argue. Mind you I don't think he knows what he's getting himself into. This trip will not be for the faint-hearted on any level. Oh well it was nice knowing him even for a few hours.

 I'd thought about going to the Supermarket too  for few extra supplies as well as visiting the parentals but I've decided to play it by ear and see how he comes through a visit into Thomson hell – if he survives we might try the shopping centre.

Kingscliff, my home town for most of my life, swells to at least twice it's size in the holiday season and while the main influx of people probably won't descend on us like hungry locusts until Boxing Day or beyond, there would still be plenty of people "out and about".

 A curious thing happens around here, the closer you get to Christmas day the busier the shops get. And I don't just mean with people doing some last minute shopping or Christmas shopping oh no this is far more sinister.

 It seems everyone comes out and stocks up like the shops are going to be closed for weeks, like there is a nuclear winter on it's way, like there is no tomorrow.

 In reality while some of the shops will close for two days, places like our Woolworths (where all the food comes from) are closed probably half a day at most – they can't close for longer than that in a tourist area like this. But that doesn't stop the food shoppers o f the apocalypse from descending. I'm not sure I'm mean enough to take Tom into this abyss and I'm equally not sure I'd like to leave him at the mercy of either of my parents – I mean what has he done to deserve "death by Jamie"?

He's had a shower and changed into another T shirt and a pair of dress shorts (we are going to have to get this boy some boardies I think – shopping trip in the New Years sales maybe? – heavily disguised though). He's wearing dark sunglasses and a cap which will hopefully be enough to put people off his scent – while I've never seen them, apparently he's done a few major super hero movies and is bigger than ten bears with the teen-aged set.

I'm not worried about the locals – we're pretty laid-back about celebrities, we get plenty around here. Tony Bennett was having coffee at one of the local coffee shops the other day and while we all knew about it, he was left to enjoy his day.  There is even talk that Angelina and Brad were staying in the local caravan park (yeah right) but who knows.

But we have so many visitors at the moment and I'd hate to get my future brother-in-laws best client torn apart by teenagers on his first visit to town.

It takes about 15 minutes to get down to mum and dad's and we are both enjoying the airconditioning – I'm actually wonder how I'm going to get my gaggle of Brit-boys through the heat and humidity we are apparently about to experience. Hottest Christmas in 20 years if you believe the weather bureau.

 Tom seems to appreciate the respite and has stretched his long legs out in the Rav Four and we're chatting about stuff. Actually we're talking about family, parents and the need for escape. I'm trying to explain the intricacies of clan-Thomson and he's explaining why he's on the other side of the world from his parents and siblings.