Heat

And the rain falls.

THE rain falls hard – so hard and loud you'd swear it was hail, but it's not. The world is making up for weeks of dry weather a day's worth of rain in just minutes - falling in sheets, filling buckets in a few minutes and cutting visibility to nil.

Tom runs down the stairs and nothing is said as we collect the washing but it's a losing battle and Dave's clothes and ours are soon drenched. Tom's white T shirt is stuck to his body and so is mine.

We run up the stairs and still the only sound is the pounding of the rain on the tin roof of the verandah –it's deafening and so is our silence.

Pegging the clothes on the verandah lines we are careful not to look or touch each other.

 I'm still not sure he is real. I'm still not sure the rain is either. It's been so hot for so long that I could be seeing mirages. And yet.....

There aren't many things to hang, a couple of sheets, some shirts and shorts (and thankfully no-ones undies – I'm not sure I want to get that close to my brother's briefs!).

We're done quickly and left to stare at each other.

I finally break the silence, though with the sound of the rain thundering on the roof, it's hardly silence. I move towards him and yell towards his ear, trying not to touch his wet skin or make out the definition of his abs, chest and shoulders through the opaqueness of his dripping shirt. I feel his eyes on me and know he's not trying quite as hard.

"You're still here?"  I say. I'm a rocket scientist right? But I don't know what else to say – I want to run into his arms and yet I hurt him I ripped out his heart. He should be in London why is he not in London?

He nods. His face is unreadable and I wonder why he's here and what is going through his mind. There is no smile and yet he's not moving away from me.

 "I thought you'd be in London, I'd have gone to London faced with a bitch like me " I say searching his eyes for something, anything. I've started talking now and I can't stop I have to explain myself I have to put this right. I love him so much it hurts and it scares me.

"I  blamed you for dad. I'm sorry I never really thought that, never.

" I was angry at the universe and you got in the way," I finish trying to take him in, trying to figure him out.

Then he looks at me and he smiles.

"I goaded you into it," he says taking my hand.

"I wanted a reason to leave you Megan. I've been telling myself for years that my work comes first, that I don't have time for anything more than casual relationships. No long term ties, no commitments. And then I walk in your door and the more time I spent with you the more I knew I couldn't  do that this time and it scared the hell out of me."

His blue eyes sparkle and he lifts my hand to his lips.

"We're both idiots!" I say.

"I know,"

"It hurt Megsy but I wanted you to hurt me, I thought it would make me feel less guilt and help you heal."

"We're idiots," I move closer to him and he leads me to sit the hammock, sitting on the edge with his legs spread wide enough. He pulls me close until I'm standing between his legs, his head is level with my chest, but his eyes are on mine.

 "What are you still doing here Tom?" I say shaking my head.

 "Where else would I be?

" I'm in love with you and your crazy wild family," he laughs. I'm looking at him now like he's gone completely insane.