Heat

Mango Madness

Mango Madness

WHEN you look back over your life there are always small moments - perfect moments - perfect days. They may not be epoch marking, history making but in your mind they are just perfect days of existence.

I'm having one of those today - it's 10am and I'm sitting under the mango tree in my backyard in the oppressive heat, feeling more alive than I have in a very long time.

The outside world has disappeared, no-one else exists and I'm in a world that I never thought I'd be in.

The perfect one where nothing else matters and no-one else can touch me - touch us.

Here sitting under my mango tree reading, the rest of the world, my family and commitments - they've all disappeared for now and I'm just being and living in the moment.

All I know is my mango tree, my book................................ and my lover.

He has his head in my lap and his nose in a book.

Occasionally we read a passage of our books to each other or I play with his hair or he kisses my hand but it's not about talking or even sex, it's just about having another person that gets you, another person to hide from the world with to create an alternative universe with - one that just belongs to the two of you.

Not that the sex isn't fantastic.

Oh god that man knows what to do with his god-given equipment and he went back twice when they were handing that particular stuff out. And because of our lives, positions and insecurities this is the first time that either of us has unprotected sex and the added intimacy of that is overpowering and seductive in it's own right. Sure I'm on the pill but you never know where the other person has been and for Tom there's the added insecurity of someone trying to get pregnant just to "trap a movie star". With me, he never even asked if I was on the pill. There is so much trust between us it scares me.

The weather is oppressive and after an afternoon and night of crawling over and in each other all over my house - it's just about being - touching - staying physically attached to each other without getting too sweaty.

We've done the sweaty.

After our painting and showering last night we had dinner - which ended up with a little kitchen bench action and then we lay together on the lounges outside on the deck and kissed and talked and touched while we took in the ocean and the stars. Our bodies had connected earlier but now, now it felt like our souls were forging together (and I don't even believe in souls). We quietly drank scotch and talked about our day and our lives and careers and what we wanted out of our futures.

I've never felt closer to anyone in my life.

I've never got the concept of "love" better.

Am I in love?

God knows.

But I love being around this man. I loved taking his hand and leaving our clothes in the house and swimming naked through the water of our pool, taking each other on the love seat at the end of the pool and then going back up stairs to my room and riding him into the mattress, feeling his hands mapping my body and giving as good as I got.

Then this morning I loved waking up finding him lying between my legs and sending me out of my mind slowly. I loved running along the paths between Salt and Casuarina an hour or so later stopping to kiss under trees, to murmur each other's names in soft tones.

I loved coming back and pushing him up against the shower wall and taking him with my mouth.

I loved having breakfast and reading the papers we'd collected in Kingy, spreading them out over the table, drinking juice and tea and talking about this and that and arguing over politics.