Criminal Minds Oneshots

Heather (S.R)

A/N: Hi all. I wanted to write this before I exited the depression hole I have been living in for the past few days. This is really sad. Like theres not really a happy ending because I didn't feel like it was realistic enough to put one. It is based on the song "Heather" by Conan Gray. Someone did request this, but my dumbass can't find her @ so I hope she sees this. But 10/10 would recommend you listen to the song before or during your reading. Also I went more by the events of the song, than I did cannon CM events, just fyi.

Summary: Readers POV through the timeline of Maeve and Spencer, and how she feels about everything.

Warnings: Sadness, death, angst

Word Count: 1K

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March 15th

I still remember

Third of December

Me in your sweater

You said it looked better

On me, than it did you

Only if you knew

How much I liked you

But I watch your eyes, as she

Walks by

What a sight for

Sore eyes

Brighter than a

Blue sky

She's got you

Mesmerized

While I die.

I guess, in reality it was my fault. I was too afraid to tell you how I felt, I let things build, and enjoyed the high of it all. The butterflies, the blushing. You liked me didn't you? Until you met her. All those days I thought maybe you might make the first move, maybe you knew how much I doubted myself. I thought you would confront me eventually. Instead, you spent your nights on the phone with her. A secret I didn't find out until it was too late. Partly because of tragedy, but partly because I had already fallen entirely in love with you.

I didn't really feel it until I noticed how enamored you were with her. I couldn't even blame you. You were perfect for each other. My doubts were correct.

April 23rd

Why would you ever kiss me?

I'm not even half, a pretty

You gave her your sweater

It's just polyester, but you like her better

Wish I were Heather

That stupid sweater. The purple one with brown buttons. I remember how much it smelled like you. I haven't seen it since she died. You must associate it with her, not me. It was easy to run into you, outside of work. We had the same kind of hobbies. Running into you was always thrilling. It made me want to look presentable everywhere I went, just in case. Except for that day. We always got our coffee from the same cafe. I noticed you two sitting in a booth, your sweater delicately resting over her shoulders. The jealousy came out of no where. I spent so much of my time convincing myself I just wanted you to be happy, but the second I saw her in that sweater I wanted to combust.

It was your sweater. I had no right to feel the way I did, but suddenly I had the mindset of a four year old. I had it first. You gave it to me first. We were on the jet and I couldn't fall asleep because I was cold. You took off your sweater and handed it to me. It was a nice, friendly gesture. With her, it was something more than that.

Giving your sweater to her meant so much more than a friendly gesture. You looked at her like she was the only thing in the world. That's when I realized we really never had a chance. And she looked good in your sweater.

May 2nd

Watch as she stands with

Her holding your hand

Put your arm 'round her shoulder

Now I'm getting colder

But how could I hate her?

Shes such an angel

But then again, kinda

Wish she were dead.

It was Rossi's idea to have a team bonding night, plus ones included. The only issue was, I never had a plus one, and the only person I would want to be my plus one, walked in with a literal angel.

She was beautiful, and intelligent. He was happy. I just wanted him to be happy. I couldn't even hate her. I understood why he was so entranced by her, I would be too. We were incomparable. This wasn't a matter of selfishly wishing she would vanish into the night, this was wishing I was her. The truth is, without her in the picture, Spencer would never be satisfied. My heart was doomed from the start.

May 19th

Why would you ever kiss me?

We raced to her Apartment as fast as we could. We knew who her stalker was, we just had to beat them there.

I'm not even half as pretty

The shots rang through the building, and then I heard him. The sobbing scream. My heart collapsed in that moment.

May 22nd

You gave her your sweater

The day of the funeral you didn't talk to anyone. You were usually so full of words it honestly shocked me. My heart was aching for you. I thought that maybe I would feel relived. As if we would ever have a chance in the future, but no, that wasn't the case at all. I loved you too much for that.

September 14th

It's just polyester, but you like her better

It's been four months. You're getting back into the groove of things. I can tell you're healing. I still see her in your mind though. When you are lost in your thoughts and the room gets quiet. We haven't really talked about it. I wonder if you think I don't care. I care too much. So much so that I'm loosing myself to the darkness.

I think about how happy you were with her. How I'll never be able to  make you that happy. How I wish that it was me instead of her. I would take her place in a heartbeat if I could see you smile like that again, even if its not at me. I would die for you. And you have no idea.

I wish I were heather