Chapter 1: The Golden Hour

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The 0th hour. How long does it last? Does it exist or not?

Time 00:00am (12am). Cold night. Noises of crickets and the ceiling fan. Eyes glued to the book, mind completely concentrated in one place. Pen on the hand, continuously writing. Then...

"Huh..Ughh.." (disturbed). Stands up, looks at the window.

"What the..." (shocked)

The sky....it's golden? How? At this hour?

5th of July 2013

Hi, I am Hana! Miki Hana! I am a normal seventeen year old, at least that's what I thought... I am known as the child of mystery, cause I'm always the key part of things with no logical explanations. Also, I lost a huge part of my memories without any reason. No disease, no accidents, I simply forgot them one day just like that. No big deal, right...? I have lost my childhood memories. Yes, the golden moments and the base of a person's character, I lost it, when I was 13. I tried my best to recover them and had the best doctors treat me but we always end in a dead end. And the weird part, I remember all the academic knowledge, and the time spent with my parents but excluding that I remember nothing. Nor my childhood, school or friends. I had to choose homeschooling due this 'unknown sickness' and am usually inside. That's what my doctor said. But for a fact, I know I'm perfectly healthy and there's nothing wrong with my body and brain. My parents tried to regain my memories by taking me to my old school. And the moment I see it and turn my head, I forget it. It's as if my brain is refusing to accept this moment. My uniform, class photos, drawings, everything... I simply can't remember them even for a second, no matter how many times I look at them. From what I heard from my parents, who tried telling my childhood school life over and over again, there's only one thing I remember. A best friend. I had one that I was so close with. Other than that I can't memorize any other detail they tell me. But it seems I don't have any possession of hers to make me remember her. Not even a single pic and even if I had, I'm pretty sure I will forget it the moment I see it. From what I heard, I had cherished her with all my life. I can't even remember her name. The moment I hear it, the next moment I forget it. I even met her after my memory loss. But I don't remember a scene like that ever happening to me. 4 years have passed yet, I'm still curious about this mystery best friend of mine. I haven't forgotten anything else about me so far. I very well remember what happened in the past 4 years. But not beyond that. Due to this condition of mine, I was quarantined in my home for two years with many doctors coming and trying to reach a conclusion..But they never did. I have friends... but none of them know this part of my life. Because I am scared, they will keep their distance from me if they know this. And this is my diary. I write something that I want to remember forever as detailed as possible. Just in case, I lose my memories again. But nothing important has happened yet, my life is as boring as ever. I was ready to forget everything again, because I don't have any precious memories that I don't want to forget.

In the 4 years of time, I had been living quite the normal life with no unusual occurrence, that is ...until..today.. Which is kinda giving me a feeling that I will forget my memories again.

As usual, I was sitting doing late night studying. When suddenly, something felt off. It became dead silent. I wasn't even able to hear the sound of the night. Out of curiosity, I looked out to the window to see a golden sky at midnight. It was very unusual. I expected to see many people come out to see this. But no one was in sight. I went to wake my parents and they weren't there... It should have made me uncomfortable and alerted me. But for some reason, it felt safe and secure. I opened the door and stared at the sky. It was golden. But not bright enough to blind the eyes. I still don't understand how this can be possible. The air feels a bit heavy. It's warm and very calm. It's golden as if a monochrome picture was painted bright. Only shades of gold everywhere I looked. But.. I wasn't golden, instead monochrome.. My colours were black and white. It felt like I was representing nothing while the rest of the world was something memorious. The gravity was rare. I don't feel any wind.. It was as if being in water. Where am I? In Wonderland? Or Neverland? And then... I saw a shadow of a person near my gate. I ran towards them, trying to find out what this whole thing was about. The medium length hair made me think this shadow belonged to a girl, but I couldn't make out her tallness by looking at a mere shadow. If I were to guess, it felt like a shadow of a little girl about 5 or 6 years. After not being able to find my parents, I jumped into a conclusion that I was alone in this world. Yet, I wasn't scared, I didn't even worry a bit of how I will go back to the 'normal' world. This place I am in right now seems too surreal to be called normal. I can't accept what I am seeing as truth. And when seeing another person here in this mysterious world, my curiosity overtakes me. Something in me wants to discover more about this place, even if it may seem dangerous for me to do so. I wanna know. I just simply wanna know. I walked towards the person, but she kept running away. I followed the shadow walking calming. If I get too close to the shadow, it might run away. So I decided to follow it. Looking down at the shadow, I followed it to all the darkest alleys, deserted roads, and highways. I thought this world was a gold copy of the real one. But I was wrong. The places are different. I don't even remember seeing these buildings, roads and stores. Yet, it felt oh so familiar. Unusual again.. I bet I have been walking for almost 3 hours. Yet, I am not tired. I can walk on more. Actually, I don't even feel like my energy is being used. It feels like I was floating. And then, it stopped. The shadow stopped. Suddenly a bright ray of light blinded me. Like switching a bulb on in a dark room all of a sudden. "Ughh.. My eyes..." When I finally got adjusted to the brightness, I realised I lost the shadow. I looked up and saw I was standing in front of a huge gothic styled iron black gate. On it, was a tag that read, "Open the gates, and explore the world, then you will unlock your past."

"..My....past..?.."

Yes, I wanna know.. I have to know.. I need to regain my past! All my actions in this world are fully controlled by my emotions...no.. my heart.. I couldn't think. I just did what I felt like doing. I took the decisions that felt good to me. I took in the dangers simply because I felt like it. And thus, I feel like wanting to know about my past, to know about myself, to find the important piece of me that I lost. So I....opened..the gates...not knowing what I will find...not knowing what will happen to me..not knowing if it's alright for me to go there...not knowing if it's safe...I simply opened it...cause...I felt like it.... Safe or dangerous, if it's alright or not, I wanna know, I wanna know the past self I left... I raised my hand and pushed against the gate and opened it. It creaked, a loud rusty noise was heard.... I took a step inside and then!..

"Arghh! My head!!"

Brightness blinded my eyes again and a loud ringing in my ears. Covered my ears and shut my eyes.. It was like a shock.. When everything felt peaceful again, I slowly opened my eyes.. The noise of the ceiling fan and in front of me my textbooks and a pen on my hand. Time 00:01am (12:01am). Huh? Only a minute has passed. But I wasn't here. Rushed to the window, the sky is night again, it's cold again, the sound of the night echoing my ears... Ran to my parents..they were there.. I'm back to the 'normal' world. What happened to the other world? What happened in that one minute here? I'm pretty sure I spent at least 3 or 4 hours there. But one thing was sure different. I did not feel empty. I felt satisfied and happy. Finally, a true emotion..I have never felt it before.. Flushed look in my face. I don't know what's the reason but I'm satisfied. 

Was it a dream? Or was it real? I wanna know. I'm simply just curious!
Not knowing my childhood, I forgot who I was. How I was supposed to think and used to think. Was I kind ? How do I feel the feelings? How am I supposed to feel them? Did I get along with people? What was my personality like? Was I treasured by people? Did I cherish my moments? What were they? Who was I? No, who 'am' I? I'm still incomplete. A soulless body. I don't know much about myself. I don't talk with many people. Even if I did, my conversations are restricted to 3 or 4 sentences or else I won't be able to answer cause I don't know. Cause I don't know who I am. I was a mere human with blood running through her veins, I don't feel anything, like anything, nor have feelings for anything. Just like a....human without a heart. While losing my memories, I think I also lost my feelings towards everything. I don't even know what makes me happy or satisfied. And within the 4 years, I tried creating myself again. Like living a second life. But I couldn't. So I did what everyone else would. I tried to fit in with the common. And took all the time to isolate myself from people. I tried again to recollect my past, but because of the loss of memories, we suddenly migrated to a city with the best doctors. How do I regain my childhood memories in a place where I didn't even spend my childhood ? And for some reason, this time, I feel like I will find myself.. And that day is coming near...hopefully...
I am Miki Hana. Seventeen years old. One night I suddenly went to a mystical world that can unlock my past.."

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