Mr Jefferson is Coming Home (Jamilton)

Chapter 24

"I was thinking of going to Monticello next week," Thomas hummed quietly to James while scribbling one of the many letters he had to send. "Since Adams is here for once, we could start our Christmas holidays a couple of weeks earlier. What do you think?"

"Actually, that's not a terrible idea, I miss Dolley," Madison sighed, thinking of his wife. "But while my reason to rush home is widely understandable, why would you want to go away earlier?"

"No reason."

"You can't lie to me, Thomas."

"Ugh!" Thomas groaned, looking up from his letters. "All right, do you want me to say it out loud?"

"Please."

"I can't face Hamilton after what I did, James," he complained. "When his wife called him back to New York last month, I thought that maybe I hadn't completely messed up with his life, but then he came back with all his luggage and I – I don't know, I have to go away."

"Again?" James raised an inquisitional eyebrow.

"Hey, Monticello it's my healing place," Thomas answered, a bit surprised by his friend's remark. "You should understand me, you're always complaining about missing Virginia."

"Yeah, but while you hide in Monticello licking your wounds, do you ever happen to think about the people you leave behind?"

Thomas frowned, searching for something to say. In the end, he simply shook his head and returned to his letters, without answering. After all, he and Hamilton had been apart for more than four years, and he'd already ruined Alexander's life – what else could happen in only a month anyway?

***

Alexander was alone in the whole wide world. Again. He knew he had the strength to go on – he'd been strong enough to take care of himself when he was only twelve; he'd been brave and resilient during the war, and again during the years when he'd fought with Madison to support the Constitution and their newborn nation; even more when he'd had to go against Thomas to stand for his ideals. But, after marrying Eliza, he'd thought he was finally part of a family again –the Schuyler's family – and now that hope had faded away forever. It had disappeared the moment when Eliza had called him back to NYC and had asked him if Maria was the only person he'd been cheating on her with. Alexander had hesitated. And Eliza had understood. Alexander couldn't help but replay those dreadful moments in his head, over and over again.

"Does this have something to do with your infidelity?" Elisa sobbed, waving an object that made Alexander freeze on the spot.

As usual, the truth was plainly written on his guilty face, and he didn't have to answer to confirm Eliza's suspects – she was waving an embroidered tissue, with the initials "T.J." on a corner.

"It's not what you think," Alex started to say, his voice trembling so much he had to pause before going on. "You're misunderstanding the –

"Don't lie to me Alexander!" Eliza stopped him, looking up with sad and imploring eyes. "Don't I deserve the truth?"

She deserved it, of course she deserved the truth. But that would mean to break her heart and be probably denounced for sodomy. A lot of women accused their husbands in order to gain revenge after being cheated on. Was it his destiny? Could Eliza really do something like that to him?

"Yes, honey, you deserve the world," he sighed, defeated.

That night, he confessed everything to her, from James Reynolds to Thomas Jefferson. He gave her the means to send him to prison, or even to death, if she wanted to. He promised her that he wouldn't cheat on her anymore, neither with men nor women. But Eliza had always known him better than himself, and this time too she was more perceptive than he'd expected.