19: This feeling

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Levi read the letter four times over in disbelief, particularly the bit where Erwin had said...he'd said..

He said he loved him.

Despite him being the grouchiest, most miserable, pessimistic, emotionless asshole to ever exist. Despite his past efforts and urges to kill him, and despite Levi hating Erwin from the get go, until he learnt to trust him. Despite every single one of these things that prevented Erwin from liking him...he actually did. Webber was right.

And Levi? Well, he didn't know quite how to feel about that, or what he was feeling at that point in time.

His face, why was it hot? Why did he have this feeling in his gut? Not a bad one, mind. Why did he feel happy about this, like he could kill a thousand titans in one go? What was this warm feeling? It was strange.
He decided there was nothing he could do except go and ask Hange.

•=•=•=•

Hange was sitting on the floor amongst the mess in their room, with a microscope in front of them. Their glasses were lying on top of some books that surrounded them in some sort of crooked semicircle. Their door was wide open, so Levi just decided to tap on the door once with his knuckles, earning a mad grin from Hange when they saw him.

"Hey stranger! Ouch!" They exclaimed as Levi smacked them round the head.
"Your room is a pigsty. And it smells like shit." He held his nose.
"Well whatever. I'm in the middle of some important Titan research, but that's not the point." Hange rubbed their head a few times before taking Levi's hands. "Did ya read it or what? Did my performance put you off!?"

"That act when you left was fake? To make me feel worried?!" Levi scowled, pushing their hands off of his. "Keep them off of me. They're probably dirty."
"Well, yeah I pretended to be worried for you. But did you read it?"

"Of course." Levi sat down reluctantly on the dirty floor. He would need to if he was to get advise from Hange.
"Really?! What do you think?!" Hange glared at him with a maddened look. God, this person need serious help, Levi thought, a tiny bit scared, though he'd hate to admit it.

"I don't know, honestly." Levi breathed, clutching his cravat, like he did when he was nervous. The cloth came from the same material as his mother's dress, and every time he held it in moments of anxiousness, it reminded him of what his mother used to say.

Don't be afraid to tell people how you really feel, especially your friends. If they are truly your friends, they're there to help, not judge. Trust those friends to help you, Levi.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Hange asked, a little confused.
"I just don't know." Levi responded after a minute.

"There's this feeling that I get when I see him, or he's nearby. It begun around two years ago, but I just put it off. A feeling like warmth from the sun on a summers day, but nothing uncomfortable or too hot. I felt it when Erwin saved me, and when he told me he wouldn't forgive himself if I died, and when he made the promise to return from that mission alive, and when I read the letter."

"What promise? I don't remember that." Hange asked. Levi gave them a look.
"You weren't there, dumbass! I made him promise that he wouldn't die." Levi told them, making Hange almost explode with happiness.

"That's love, Levi! That's what it feels like! Have you forgotten?" Levi rubbed his head and moved his hair out of his eyes.
"I guess it's been since my mom was alive that I've felt like this." He confessed. Hange sat up on their knees and shook Levi, his patience with them wearing thin.

"Talk with him! He's going to speak with Pyxis this afternoon, so you can talk with him later! Tell him!" Hange squealed.
"Are you a pig? Calm down!" Levi ordered and Hange stopped shaking him. "It'll be awkward, what with the argument..."
"Make up already, you fool! You can't tell him you love him if he still thinks he hates you!" They barked, making Levi go slightly red in the cheeks as he got up off the floor.

"Whatever. Thank you, though." Levi said through gritted teeth, walking out of the door and back to his room, where he'd have to prepare for what he would say to Erwin tonight.

Word count: 761

Beiusuwjbfieuedif it's happening

He loves him back

I'm the one writing it and I still can't believe it

My heart is gonna burst

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