Letters to Audrine

21- It's Okay to Cry

I wake up the next morning to a wooden tray being placed beside me on Silas's bed. When I open my eyes, I see him standing over me and on the tray are two croissants, a bowl of cut up fruit, and two cups of coffee.

"Good morning," he smiles at me before he leans down and kisses my cheek.

With a long, stinky yawn, I slowly sit up, "You made me breakfast in bed?"

"You sleep so late," Silas says teasingly. "If I wait to make you breakfast in the kitchen, it would be more like lunch."

"Well, I had a long night," I defend myself with a shy laugh as I take one of the croissants and start nibbling on the crusty end.

He lets out a little laugh too and says, "Yeah, I'll let you off the hook for this one."

I know my hair must look like such a mess, and my breath has to reek, but I try to ignore how disgusting I feel so that I can get through this breakfast and then brush my teeth and put my hair up. "It looks delicious."

"I also packed a picnic lunch for us," Silas tells me. "I'm hoping I can steal you for the day."

"I'm all yours." I can't take the smile off my face. "A picnic sounds so romantic."

"Well, it's not just that," he says vaguely before taking a sip of one of the coffees. He starts fidgeting with the ceramic handle of the mug, looking uncomfortable about something. "I've been thinking about what you said at the beach the other day."

"Okay," I say slowly, feeling very confused at his weird mood change.

He keeps his eyes downcast, staring down at his mug as he says, "I haven't been to my mom's grave since her funeral, and I think I want to go. I've been avoiding it. Will you go with me?"

"Of course," my voice is quiet, but quick. I wasn't expecting him to say that; I especially didn't expect him to ask me that. I am so happy that he's realized his feelings and he's willing to express that to me. Not only that, but that he's chosen me as his support system when he goes to see his mom for the first time in five years.

"Thank you," he still looks pretty nervous, but eventually does meet my gaze.

"I think this will be really good for you," I tell him. "I know that it's scary though, and I'm here for you."

"Mamé left you a pair of her shorts before she went to the market this morning, so you don't have to wear your dress from yesterday. Even though you looked so good in it," Silas starts to smile again.

"Audrine knows I spent the night?" I question him, feeling slightly mortified.

Silas now starts to laugh and then says, "nothing really gets past her. I spent my teen years trying, but she knows everything."

The shorts he gives me are made of light fabric with a drawstring around the waist. After I'm finished eating breakfast and cleaning myself up in the bathroom, I slide the shorts on and thankfully, they fit. They're a little bit snug around my thighs, but they'll do for today. I wear my bra and I keep on the shirt from Silas that I had slept in.

"You look so good," he tells me when I return to his room.

"What?" I laugh, looking down at the awkwardly tight shorts and baggy blue t-shirt that I'm wearing. It's not exactly the kind of outfit that I would reach for when I'm trying to look good.

"You look so good in anything," Silas says, and I appreciate the compliment, but it's about the cheesiest thing that I've ever heard.

We share a quick, soft kiss before we leave the apartment with Silas carrying a large picnic basket and I have a blanket looped over my elbow.