drivers license- olivia rodrigo
Leah's POV
i finally got my drivers license, just like we'd always talked about. i got it a week ago. i remember how excited you were when i took my drivers ed classes, you'd go on for hours about how exciting it would be when i could drive to your house and we could go on dates and spend late nights driving around hand in hand.
one year before
"leahhhhhh!" fatin beckoned.
i had just finished my first driving class and we were now at her house for the weekend.
"yes?"
"you're finally gonna be able to drive, think of all the dates we could go on. we could drive around late night and hold hands like those dumb movie couples."
"if you find them dumb then why do you want to hold hands like them?" i questioned turning on my side to look at her.
"their dumb because one they're straight and two they always break up in the end, and it's obvious that we'll never be either."
"you really think we'll last? sorry that's a dumb question i di-" she cut me off.
"it's not a dumb question, i know that you're last relationship wasn't the best, with that being an understatement, but i'm always gonna be here. i just get the sense we're forever." i smiled at her words.
we laid on the bed looking into each other's eyes before i pulled her into a short but sweet kiss.
present day
but today i drove through the suburbs of the east bay crying because you weren't there with me.
maybe your with that blonde girl that always made me lesser than. shes older than me, she's everything i wish i could be. i wish i could be enough for you.
so i drove through the suburbs trying to figure out why or how i could love someone else. i mean i know we weren't perfect but, i've never felt this way before. you taught me what love was after him. i just can't comprehend how you're so okay now that we're not together anymore.
i guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me on your cello. i remember you spent months creating your own sheet music and score. it was the most beautiful song i'd ever heard. because you said forever and here i am driving alone past your street wishing i was in your bed holding you close.
flashback
"leah i have something to show you."
"what is it?"
"just listen." she said pulling her cello from it case before she started to play.
i didn't recognize the song as any of the ones that's she'd preform before but none the less i listen. the beauty of the piece filled the room. as the piece came to a wrap i saw the giant smile on her face.
"did you like it?" she asked eagerly.
"fatin, i loved it. who wrote this piece i've never heard it before?"
"me. i wrote it f-for you. you really like it?"
"i think it was captivating and beautiful, just like you."
"you are so fucking cheesy." she said picking up her cello before crawling on the bed next to me.
"you like that about me." i countered.
"i fucking love it." she responded.
end of flashback
all our friends are so tired of seeing me hung up over you, you've clearly moved on and can't see the hurt you've put me through. shelby started to get really worried about me, she told me i'll find the one, but she didn't know you like i did.
flashback
"i think you know me better than anyone else." she said quietly as i laid my head on her chest.
all i could do was smile and snuggle further into her as she wrapped her arm protectively around my torso keeping me close.
end of flashback
so yeah today i drove past the suburbs, and in a fantasy world i pictured myself driving home to you.
suddenly i found myself driving down her street, pulling into the driveway of a very familiar house.
i just need some damn answers.
i knocked on the door and sure enough she came to the door. i watched as she rubbed sleep from her eyes. how late was it?
"leah what are you doing here at 2am?"
well that's answers my question.
"i just need answers so i can finally be at peace." i paused, "answers about us. why we ended."
"leah.." her voice faltered forming a softer tone.
" you know i know we weren't perfect but you always to me you loved that about us. i just don't understand how you just moved on like i was nothing to you. so i guess the song you wrote about me meant nothing special. i can't count the times i've driven through the suburbs and passed your street wishing i could still mean something to you. do you know that i got my drivers license?" she looked shocked.
"last week actually. we were supposed to so many things after i got my license. go on dates, hold hands like those stupid fucking movie couples. i can't keep driving when everywhere and seeing everything and it keep reminding me of you. i see you at red lights, stop signs. i still see your face in the white cars and front yards, do you know that i can't even drive some places because that's where we used to go to. because you know what fatin i'm still fucking in love with you. i walk on sidewalks we've crossed before and i hear your voice in the hustle and bustle of traffic. i think of us laughing, i know we're over but i just can't help being in love with you.
i took a second to breathe as i was basically choking on tears at this point.
" i remember that first time we said i love you. it was right after one of your concerts and we went to dinner and then we came back here and we were about to go to bed when i just looked you in the eyes and said it. you looked like a kid who's biggest wish had just been granted. but now you don't even see how badly i'm drowning in my thoughts. i used to feel like you were the only person in the world who understood me. believe me fatin i know we weren't as perfect as toni and shelby but we were perfect in my eyes, you are perfect in my eyes. so i'm here asking you how you got over me so fast? or if that song actually meant anything to you? if i ever meant something to you?
"leah, i di-"
"i remember that night that i wondered how long we would last. you said forever and now.. now i drive alone past you street while you pretend that we're strangers." i finally broke, every bit of water i'd consumed today pouring out of my eyes as i fell to my knees.
i felt a pair arms wrap around me and for a second i thought it's was all a facade, but when i looked deep into her eyes i knew it was real.
"i never meant to hurt you so much. i just didn't know how handle being in a relationship. especially after we said i love you, trust me leah, i fucking love you. but i can't hurt you. i've seen love hurt everyone i care about, my mom, you, the others. love it scares me. i don't want to be like my dad, i don't want to hurt people, if i just cut everyone off and go back to hook ups i can't hurt anyone but myself. i don't want to hurt you like he did."
"fatin look at me."
her deep brown eyes meeting my piercing blue ones.
"you'll never be like him, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. and you are not your dad. okay? you're your own person. my person. you're the girl that loves the cello even if she won't admit it, the girl that always scratches her little brothers head after getting her nails done, the one that holds me close at night whispering sweet nothings and plans of the future. the one who makes me feel safe and wanted. you are so different from them! you will never be like them!"
"i don't know her." she blurts out
"who?"
"that blonde girl, i just know that she's in my one of my classes. i was paying her to stay around me and act all couple like. i couldn't move on leah. i never will."
"then why are we here?" i referred to the situation.
"i don't know, but i'm going to fix it." she said before she cupped my face and kissed me.
the kiss seemed like it was life or death. we kissed like our lives depended on it.
i pulled back and put our foreheads together.
"i need to get home." i whispered.
"stay. please just stay with me." she looked at me with pleading eyes.
"okay." i said softly.
i pushed myself off the ground and locked my car before i grabbed her hand following her into the house.
i was lead to a familiar room. i borrowed her clothes before climbing under the blankets next to her. just as i was on the verge of sleep i felt a arm wrap around me torso holding me close.
word count: 1590
