1/12/21 | 3k words
I keep wanting to make this story about brutal
unpunished attempted child murder before remembering
its supposed to be about gay Minecraft men highschool lovers.
Anyway I have AGGRESSIVE writers block so this chapters pretty
lame. Sorry.
I don't know why I did it.
Thats what I keep saying to everyone. I've had four or so people ask me this, and I always answer with the most honest answer I could muster; I threw that paper for reasons beyond me.
This is only partly true, the fact is is that I wanted him to look at me. Acknowledge me. I don't actually think he's a pedo, probably not anyway. I don't know why I needed the attention so bad, I'd usually jump for joy if Cooper and his little squad didn't bother me for an entire day, but this was different. He was different. I want him to bother me, pick on me, I don't care what he does, I just want something to happen. The last interaction we had didn't feel right, it didn't end right. He was supposed to forgive me, and then we'd go on with our lives, then I'd be satisfied. but thats the problem. He didn't. He smiled he usual smug grin and left. Thats the thing, he's so calm in any sort of situation. It's admirable, its something I could never do. Im far too nervous, I overthink things too much. I've replayed that scene so many times in my head trying to make sense on why on earth he did that. Was that his way of forgiving me? This thought keeps me up at night, he keeps me up at night. Everything about him, I've studied him for so long, how he makes me feel. I know too much about him; he's a good artist, his forehead crinkles when he gets angry, he draws smiley faces on his skin in class in red permanent marker, his favourite colour is yellow. Everything. I watch him so often and I don't fucking know why, I feel obligated to.
What the fuck is wrong is me?
My leg jostled along with the bumpy car as we hit yet another pothole, small animal, or bump in the road or something that would make the car go FLYING.
I feel mostly bad for my younger brother beside me, he yelps everytime he has to get thrown by the car jerking about.
"God- careless careless drivers nowadays." My father grumbled beneath his breath "Aye, watch where y'er fuckin' going, yeah?" He snapped as a car cut infront of us.
"Pardon my French." He sighs. Tommy is too busy playing on his disgusting greasy tablet to notice the cussword, or the apology.
"Um- I can drive if you want. You can take a break, Tommy probably needs to stretch his legs anyway-" David smiles sheepishly from his spot in the passengers seat.
"No. No Dave I'm fine, we're almost there anyway." My dad huffs, grumbling a bit to himself.
I sigh loudly in boredom, the twentyfive minute car ride had been extremely uneventful, everyone seems pissed off for one reason or another. Dads angry because of the stupid drivers, I'm angry because of my raging teenage boy hormones, and Tommys angry because of how long this car ride is taking. Speaking of which, I lean over to see what my brother is up to on his tablet. He jerks away and squawks at me for looking at him. Lowkey, sus.
"What are you up to, boy?" I raise an eyebrow.
"WHY DO YOU CARE? LEAVE ME ALONE STOP LOOKING AT ME NOW!!" He yells.
"Dont be sassy with me you're like five years old wtf."
"I am actually SIX years old and-and you literally did not even know that?! Ugh you are so dumb!" He rolls his eye and shakes his head, he releases a heavy sigh. I can't believe my ears.
