CAROLINE'S POV
My phone buzzed and woke me up at the ungodly hour of 7am. I rolled over to see what it was and to my surprise it was a Twitter notification telling me that Asher Johnson had just followed me. I guess it wasn't the worst thing I could wake up to on the last day of summer. I rolled back over in my bed to get comfortable and wondered why Asher was up at 7am following me on Twitter, but then again I could just see him getting up before the sun to feed animals on the farm or something. That thought put a smile on my face.
As hard as I tried I couldn't get back to sleep after that, so eventually I just got up and headed downstairs. Taylor wasn't up yet so I quietly opened up the door to her room and found her laying on her side, her back to the door. I tried to be as gentle as I could when I climbed into the other side of her bed, but as soon as I had the blankets pulled over me I saw her start to move around.
Soon she was propped up on her elbow and her tired face was turned towards me while she was blinking the sleep out of her eyes.
"Hey you." Taylor said after she processed what was going on. She took her body weight off her elbow and laid back down so she was at my level before studying my face with a sympathetic look in her eyes. I was embarrassed to be in her bed for a second when I realized that she thought something was wrong. I guess over the years this is where I came when something went wrong, but it was still a little embarrassing to think about how Taylor, my mom, but also the singer I'd admired for so many years, was trained to think that whenever I came into her bed I wasn't okay.
I broke eye contact with her and pulled the blankets up on my shoulder awkwardly as she was looking at me.
"You good?" She asked quietly, I nodded and she turned away. I saw her eyes linger on the clock beside the bed before she pulled herself up and started getting dressed. I didn't understand the motivation Taylor possessed, but just like every other day, she pulled a dress over her head. I could barely change out of my pajamas into athletic shorts.
Taylor left for work a half an hour later, leaving me alone and bored on the last day of summer. I wandered around the kitchen looking for food when I came across the calendar, on today's date Taylor had written something. It read, "Caroline- 1 year". It took a while for me to understand what that meant, but finally I realized that on this day last year Taylor adopted me.
I got that weird feeling in my stomach when I pictured Taylor sitting down with the calendar at the beginning of this year and getting to August and deciding to make a note of the day I was adopted. Thinking about it made me feel special, it reminded me that Taylor knew how important it was that I had a family and that I was loved.
It was strange to think about how it had been a year since we sat down and signed those papers. In some ways it feels like yesterday, but in some ways it feels like a long time ago. A year can do a lot, last year I was still struggling pretty bad with my dad's death, although I still think about him everyday, it wasn't everyday that I cried over it. I would say that's pretty good progress.
Looking back I can't imagine how Taylor dealt with me a year ago, she had to be a mom, yet she had to help me get over my other parents, all while still having to balance being one of the most well known celebrities in the world. At some points I've questioned why Taylor even wanted me in the first place, what made her think that she wanted to take in some girl who's dad was going away for a year, but out of all people I could've been put with, it was her. She had so much going on, she always has so much going on, but I've lived here for 2 years now and she still seems to like me.
The morning hours passed and I spent them all dreading school tomorrow, I was glad when it was time for lunch because its something to take my mind off everything. I scoured the refrigerator for something I could make when I heard the door to the apartment open. I shut the refrigerator door in time to see Taylor walking in with a box of pizza in one hand and a white box in the other.
She smiled when she saw me standing there.
"I bought us pizza." She said placing the two boxes on the counter. I opened up the pizza box and grabbed a slice. It was plain cheese, Taylor hardly ever bought just cheese, but it was my favorite. Taylor came up behind me and handed me a plate for my food, we sat down at our spots at the table and she began telling me about her day. She said she had to go back to work in about and hour, but she wanted to come home and bring me lunch. We talked about a lot and after a while we were done eating.
"Hey come look what I got you this morning." Taylor said smiling and getting up from her seat. I followed her back over to the counter and she grabbed the white box that she'd carried in. She laughed a little before she lifted the lid on the box to reveal a cake. It was circular with white frosting and the words "Caroline- happy 1 year of adoption! Love, Taylor" were written in blue icing.
As soon as I had read it Taylor started cheering like it was a big celebration. I laughed and she pulled me into her body for a hug, my head fit right into her neck and she held me there before asking questions.
"Did you even know today was the day?" Taylor asked, pulling away from the hug so she could see my face. I told her I knew because I saw the calendar this morning.
"I called to have this cake made a week a go while we were in Chicago, I'm really on top of the ball." Taylor said. It felt good to hear that she was thinking about me and thinking about this day, even on tour when I was under the impression that she was too busy for me.
Taylor got out a knife and cut us both a piece of cake, it was chocolate on the inside, how I liked it. Suddenly it made sense that she would bring me a just cheese pizza today. We sat back down at the table and Taylor started getting all emotional.
"It has been a year, Caroline, a year." She said, I looked up and there were tears forming in her eyes.
"Oh God." I laughed under my breath. She looked at me and laughed a little too, a tear escaping her eye when she smiled.
"Well really all of it's been a little over two years, but this has been a year." She corrected herself, waiting for me to get emotional too.
"Caroline! Can't you believe that?" She said laughing and crying at the same time.
"Stop crying." I laughed, taking a bite of the cake.
"You're going to be a junior in high school.." Taylor said, wiping her nose.
"Cry with me, Care." She laughed, her laugh turning into another tear down her cheek. I just laughed at her getting so emotional, it felt good to have somebody that cares enough to cry because you're growing up. At the same time I was feeling the same way as she was, I was just better at hiding it.
She was done being emotional by the time she had to leave, now we were just laughing about it.
"Alright, I'll be back at around 2 or 3." Taylor said before she hugged me.
"Love you, goodbye." She said and I said it back. She grabbed her purse and as soon as the door was shut behind her I was the one sobbing. It was been a year since I was adopted, 2 since I started living here, I start junior year tomorrow, Taylor just cried over me. It was all a lot to take in and now that Taylor was gone I let it all out. I looked and what was left of the cake and cried some more, Taylor cared about me that much to get that made.
I was a teenage girl who has been kind of a mess since her dad died and someone cared about me that much. It was a lot to process when you think about it all at once, the fact that Taylor is telling the truth every time she says she loves me, the fact that she has stayed up in the middle of the night with me so many times over the past 2 years just to calm me down. The fact that she was only supposed to have me for a year and now she has me for the rest of my life. I cried until I was laughing at myself.
I wondered what Taylor would do if she knew I was being such a sap because I was thinking about how she cares about me. And I found myself wishing she would come back.
