"I still think about you when I can't sleep," Draco said, staring wistfully at Hermione's slender back as she pointedly ignored him, digging further into a drawer of files in the dusty records room where he'd risked approaching her.
She froze for several seconds before turning her head enough to glare over her shoulder at him. Her face was screwed up with disgust. "Ew."
He stared at her blankly for a moment before choking.
"No! Not like that. I mean—" he felt heat staining his cheeks "—maybe sometimes like that—"
She rolled her eyes and turned back to the filing cabinet.
"I mean—I think about you. About the things we used to talk about. When you took me to the Muggle museums, going ice skating, visiting the aquarium, that cramped bookshop in Paris..."
She turned sharply, her arms full of files. Her face expressed a deep, arctic loathing that chilled him to his bones. "Yes. It was fun, our secret relationship that you were so careful to restrict to Muggle world where no one would see us. I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it so much."
She marched past him, her sensible oxford heels clicking sharply with each step.
His stomach clenched despairingly as he turned and trailed after her. "It wasn't like that, Hermione."
"It was exactly like that," she said, her voice acidic.
"It wasn't."
She stopped and stared at him, her eyes burning and dangerous. "Do you think I'm stupid, Draco?" She raised an eyebrow. "We've known each other for what, sixteen years? At any point during that time have I given you reason to believe my judgement is impaired and my sense of reason questionable?"
She stepped towards him, and Draco's heart rate shot up until the blood was roaring in his ears. She was right there, close enough to touch for the first time in weeks.
"Please tell me." She flashed an insincere smile. "I really want to know."
Draco swallowed thickly and decided it was a good day to die. "Well, there was one time."
Hermione's expression grew murderous.
He raised his eyebrows. "You dated an ex-felon for several months and didn't seem to think it was going to have any repercussions on your Ministry career if people knew."
She stared at him, her face turning white.
"Don't. You. Dare!" Her voice was forceful and enraged. "Don't you dare try to pretend you were doing it for me. I didn't ask you to protect me. I don't need anyone to protect me. I didn't want to hide it! Don't you dare try to twist it and pretend you were doing it as a favour to me." Her chest jerked as though she were fighting back tears.
"I swear to god, that's why." He reached towards her, and she recoiled, evading his touch.
Her eyes were swimming, but her expression was venomous. "Right, now you're here to lure me back into this relationship that was so harmful for me because, what? You care so much about my reputation but can't help yourself?" Her face twisted into an eerily familiar sneer. "Go find yourself a stupider witch, Malfoy. I'm too busy with my incredibly important reputation and Ministry career to have time to listen you try to spin your way out of this and make it my fault."
She pivoted and started walking rapidly away.
Draco stood staring after her, his heart dropping. He should have just stayed away. All he'd managed to do was make it worse.
He should just go. Go away and leave her alone the way she'd made it abundantly clear that she wanted him to.
"Hermione..." He was following her again as though she were a siren.
Her footsteps sped up.
He clenched his jaw and walked faster. He caught up with her as she turned the corner, catching her by the shoulder.
"Don't touch me." She looked to be a split-second from kicking him in the shins.
He gripped her more tightly, leaning towards her longingly, his mouth dry. "Wait. Just let me explain once and I'll never bother you again, you have my word, I'll even make a vow if you want."
She stared at him, her expression glacial. Several people in the hall glanced towards them and Draco instantly withdrew his hand and straightened.
Hermione's eyes flashed with hurt. Draco swallowed and averted his eyes.
"I wasn't going to ask you out," he said, staring over her shoulder at a potted plant. "I never intended to. I assumed I'd get over it. But when you asked me, well," he gave a pained smile, "I'm a spoiled only-child who's always been selfish, of course I said yes. I assumed we wouldn't last long and it'd be fine to let it run its course. I thought as long as I didn't do anything to fuck up your life, I wouldn't be doing any harm. I didn't realise you'd think I was trying to keep you hidden as though you were some kind of indiscretion on my part. I am sorry. I should have said no from the beginning." He swallowed and almost reached out at touched her.
He curled his hand into a fist. "I'm not here to try to get you back, I just wanted you to know it wasn't you. It was never you. You were perfect. I'm sorry you thought it was. I'm sorry I'd already fucked over my future before I fell for you." He inhaled and stepped back. "I wish you all the best, Granger. You deserve it."
He nodded shortly and moved past her, feeling like he was going to be sick.
He never wanted to be honest with anyone ever again. He'd rather be crucio'd. Or by shot by one of those wooden and metal Muggle things. Muskets, he thought they were called.
He needed a drink. Fuck. He'd prefer a coma.
Now he had to walk all the way of goddamned Ministry pretending he hadn't just ripped his heart out and left it with a witch who didn't even want it.
The pounding rush in his ears was beginning to transform into a migraine.
"Draco Malfoy, stop right where you are!" Hermione's voice cut through the suffocating fog in his head like the crack of a whip.
He froze and turned reluctantly to face her.
Her files no longer in her arms. They were laying in a pile in the middle of the floor. She was walking towards him, her face pale.
There were a number of people staring openly now. Draco swallowed.
She inhaled jerkily as she got close. "You—" she started, her voice unsteady. "You are the biggest idiot I have ever met, and that's really saying something considering how many idiots I know."
Oh joy. He was going to be verbally masticated by her in a public hallway. Top off their breakup. This day could not get worse.
She stood in front of him, hands on her hips, her eyes burning with indignation. "I have never cared about what wagging tongues had to say about me, and I don't have any intention of starting to care now."
Before Draco could finish processing the statement, she took hold of his robes, jerked him forcefully forward, and kissed him right in the middle of the Ministry.
