Against Protocol (Aaron Hotchner X Reader)

chapter ten: close call

"How long have you been waiting here?" you blurt out, the panic in your voice coming to the forefront. You stared back in disbelief, trying to visualize if Strauss standing in front of you was just a figment of your imagination, or if your sins had finally caught up to you.

"I just got here?" she answers matter-of-factly, looking down at you questionably as if the words that came out of your mouth had been a nonsensical, foreign tongue.

You discreetly let loose of the wound up tension in your shoulders.

You didn't know much about Strauss, only briefly meeting her during your job interview to the BAU. She had taken a keen interest in your placement at the BAU, going against Hotch's wishes to avoid making changes to the team during such a stage of vulnerability after Foyet.

However, despite her adamance on your placement, it was clear she was not impressed with your skill or work ethic. Reid had made it clear that night in Phoenix: Strauss needed to know if Hotch could handle it, if he was still fit for the job after all that happened to him.

"We need to talk," Strauss repeats.

"Of course. Where should we talk?" Hotch replies steadily, never letting on any sign of what happened moments prior. His cold exterior wrapped up around him — an oddly comforting reminder that he had let his guard down around you.

"Your office is fine. I won't take up too much of your time," she shares, carefully eyeing the two of you.

Walking back into Hotch's office minutes after what had unraveled was unnerving. You looked back down at the chair, then back to Hotch who still maintained his indifferent composure.

"What brings you here, Erin?" Hotch asks, taking lead of the conversation. "We were just about to head up to New York for a case."

"I'm aware," she curtly responds, facing her attention towards you briefly. "I'll be joining your team on the case. I'm conducting an audit, specifically on Y/N. With a new agent, and after everything this team has been through the past year, I'm trying to be proactive with this team."

"I understand the caution," Hotch tries to compromise. "But, you've never done an audit of our cases. Are you sure this is necessary?"

"Frankly, Aaron, I don't need you to question my actions," Strauss sternly rebuttals. "I need to ensure protocol is being followed. I don't need any more blood on my hands."

"I'm aware," Hotch responds, his cool, stony visage slightly fumbling. He hasn't acknowledged you since Strauss arrived, and a deep pit welled in your stomach. It felt like an endless crater burning through inside of you, and the guilt of knowing you were jeopardizing your — his — career nawed at you relentlessly.

"Well, good. I'll see the both of you on the jet," she finalizes, stepping out of the office with her chin held high and shoulders arched back. The clack of her heels leave indents in the carpet as you listen to her walk away, each step becoming fainter and fainter.

"That was close," you mutter out to him. You look to Hotch who was too invested in gathering his paperwork to return the eye contact.

He doesn't acknowledge the worry. "We should get going," he bluntly adds.

On the jet, he sits as far away as possible, yet the distance is suffocating. His gaze never lingers on you long enough for you to catch it, like a fleeting whisper in the air, but you can feel it burning into you.

Every addition you make to the conversation goes unnoticed by Hotch, and it seems like you're back to where you started at the BAU.

When you arrive in New York, the frigid atmosphere bites at your ears. The numbness slowly starts to reside as you guys enter the police station, an overworked and poorly run department.