My Strength, Your Weakness

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The "talk" turns out to be a long walk outside of the Beach later that day. You are not sure if you're in a good constitution for it, but your injuries hurt no matter if you sit or walk, and you have nothing against a welcome change of places. Besides after your incident earlier that day, your head can definitely use some fresh air.

It is late noon and the sun will soon disappear behind the skyscrapers, and as many times before, you can't believe how beautiful Tokyo is despite the circumstances. Since most of the humans have left, nature has started to take back the city. Grass is breaking through the concrete; saplings even try to sprout in the middle of streets. There are so many animals; birds, rabbits, even some deer in the distance, carefully searching for dangers between the empty buildings.

Windows are broken and smaller buildings have collapsed, but yet it is beautiful, because nature is growing over the ruins, giving it all a post-apocalyptic touch, but without the games, there seems to be no danger in this place.

Everything is full of peace, finding back to its natural balance.

"You know... if it were not for the games, I'd actually like to stay in this world." You ponder as you cross a huge bridge together with Chishiya. You know this place, and it used to be full of light and noise, and you loved watching it from a distance at night when all the lights mirrored themselves in the river.

Now the bridge is dark, but it doesn't make it less beautiful. Because for the first time, Tokyo's rivers are clean. You can see gravel and sand on the riverbed, can even see fish in the water. And the quietness! The Beach's noise is fading the further you walk, and with no cars and other humans or machines, the celestial peace is almost overwhelming.

"Where'd you get water? Food? Electricity? Medical care? The Beach won't be there forever."

"I'd figure something out. People always find a way, don't they? Besides, I wouldn't be all alone." You'd be there, too.

You smile at Chishiya even though his eyes are lost somewhere in the distance. He probably doesn't know how beautiful he is, but you do. Even though he can be mean and cold. Despite the fact that he says things that hurt you. He is still the most wonderful human for you to look at.

One of your stupid ideas pop up again, and you carefully lift your hand, ready to take it back again immediately if Chishiya signs you to stop it. You reach for his hand, still stuck in the pocket of his hoodie, and carefully touch his wrist. The plastic band feels cold against his warm skin, and your finger gently touches the skin around it.

Chishiya barely flinches under your touch, but he quickly gets what you're trying to do. With a sigh, he releases his hand from the pocket, allowing you to hold it while you walk.

Your fingers intertwine as you have almost reached the other side of the bridge.

"This stubbornness of yours is incredible." Chishiya mocks, but you feel his hand tighten around yours for a second and the warmth of it makes your heart jump.

"It's what brought me here after all. To you", you return with a grin, and you're thankful for being so stubborn. It might cause you lots of problems and tears, but you wouldn't be here holding hands with Chishiya otherwise.

The both of you sit down on a meadow right next to the river. Flowers have started to grow here and there, and you see a rabbit disappear as soon as it notices you. You don't let go of Chishiya's hand as you both sit there and watch the river turn red from the setting sun.

Despite being in the middle of Tokyo, the Beach is the only source of light. You can't hear the music from here, but you see the spotlights around the pools and the dozens of windows slowly illuminating. While the rest of the city is almost dead at least when it comes to humans, the Beach is full of life.

Hatter wanted it to be the Hope for all those stranded in the Borderlands, and he truly achieved that. This is your Utopia, and for you as well as for dozens of others, it is the light in the dark. Most of all because it's the place where you have found Chishiya.

"Maybe you were wrong", you say after no word has been spoken for a while.

Chishiya gives you a questioning look, and you continue. "About your heart not being able to love."

His sigh doesn't come unexpected. This isn't his favorite topic, but you keep coming back to it time after time. Maybe he's getting used to it, like he's getting used to all your stubborn habits.

"The Borderlands remain a place not suitable for one's heart to develop feelings for anyone. In a place where we all walk on a thin line between life and death, even the slightest weak spot can be the end."

You take his hand into both of yours and squeeze it so he looks you in the eyes.

"I know you said love is a weakness. But just remember the game. Remember the kiss! I was ready to die, and you gave me the strength to survive. You made me strong, Chishiya. Why won't you allow me to be the same for you?"

"Because you could die."

A handful of words, and yet they carry such a big meaning. If Chishiya allowed you to be his strength and you died, he'd lose that strength again, leaving him maybe even weaker than before. But that only applies for this land, not for the real world.

"You... could tell me what you did before you came to the Borderlands. We could meet somewhere once we are able to leave this place. Continue where we stopped."

Even if it would hurt you to wait until then. But if Chishiya would allow you to give it a try in the real world...

"What makes you so sure it will be the same then?"

"Nothing. But you are my reason to stay alive here, Chishiya. Those feelings won't just vanish once I'm out of this."

"If you make it out of here alive."

"I'll just assume that because I'd like that to happen." You let go of his hand and instead snuggle into his side. The sun has almost completely disappeared and you'll have to find your way back in the dark, but there's always the Beach and the billions of stars in the sky.

"I don't think that would be a good idea."

Maybe he's lying. Maybe... he's just scared?

After that kiss, there's no way you'd believe him if he said that it still meant nothing.

"There was something. I know it! I don't have to be as clever as you to feel it."

Chishiya tenses and you wish you could see his eyes now, but he has turned his head towards the horizon. "It was a mistake. I shouldn't have allowed it to happen."

And yet you did! His words hurt, but you're used to that already. But nothing he says can turn back the time or change the fact that he did pull you back for another kiss.

"Why can't you just give in to your feelings, Chishiya? Why won't you allow me to be your strength? It doesn't have to be a weakness at all."

You know you went too far the moment the words escape your mouth.

Chishiya sighs and shifts his body as if he wants to get up. You grab his arm, pleading him with your eyes not to walk away.

"Stay.I'll be quiet."

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