It Won't Always Be Like This (Alan Wilder x Martin Gore)

7 ~ Only When I Lose Myself

Five days later, November 8th, 1:06am:

To my daughter Poppi Lee,

How could I forget the day you came knocking on our door? With your first breath, one year ago today, you took ours away. So small, so sweet you were.

Before you and your Daddy, I had never known what true love felt like. When I met him, my world began turning on a new axis. But when I met you, you became the axis my world was turning on.

Each morning I look forward to walking into your bedroom and seeing your eager face, ready to start the day. You are one bright light who has never once given up for anything or anyone. You take every possible misstep or misadventure on the chin and come out so much stronger on the other side every time. You are a fighter to say the least.

If being your Papa has taught me one thing, it would be that it's only when I lose myself in someone else that I find myself. Poppi Lee, I found myself in you. Happy first birthday, my sweet baby girl. I love you and I hope that never leaves your mind.

With all the love in the world,

Papa x

Martin wrote straight from his heart, not caring about the ache in his hand. He checked over his writing hundreds of times before his eyes became weighted and began to droop.

The daylight was coming.
~~~~~
Five hours later, 6:28am:

It wasn't often that Alan and Martin were awake before their daughter, but today was their exception. The sun had barely risen as they made their last minute preparations for the day ahead.

"One year old. One whole year." Martin shook his head in minor disbelief, setting the dining room table with a monkey patterned tablecloth. "Our little baby is a toddler from here on out, Al!"

"Not sure where the time has gone, my love." Alan replied, attaching the bunting banner from the left corner of the ceiling to the right. "But it's been the most wonderful year with the pair of you and I can't wait for the next."

"Neither can I." His partner smiled. "Today is all about her. It's Poppi Lee's day."
~~~~~
Half an hour later, 7:02am:

Decorating their home was completed within a relatively short time frame, leaving them with just a single task left to complete.

Waiting.

Waiting for Poppi to wake up. From birth onwards, she had always remained a heavy sleeper whom slept through the majority of each night without issue, however it would be around this time that she would awaken on an average morning.

"Down to her now as to when she wants to begin her birthday," Martin chuckled as he leaned back against the kitchen counter with his arms folded.

The silence seemed to seep through the walls; as parents, peace and quiet was a rare occurrence, so they soaked it up whilst they could.

But in the midst of it all, the baby monitor on the countertop began vibrating and flashing green, indicating Poppi's awakening.

"There she is," Alan was taken out of his peaceful trance. "The birthday girl!"

"I'll go and get her." Martin slipped out of the room. "Make sure the table's completely ready."

"I'm on it!" He hurried into the dining room.
~~~~~
As Martin climbed to the top of the staircase to collect his daughter, it dawned on him that this would be the first time he would do so during her second year of life.