ALWAYS ; FOREVER {B.W.S}

chapter 46

Songs to listen for this chapter-
Aracde - Duncan Laurance
Afterglow - ed Sheeran
Tee shirt - Birdy
All I want - kodaline
( I highly recommend )
( It's a long chapter : word count : 3235)
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SCARLETT'S POV  

The sky turned more grey as i stood there at the cemetery and the clouds grew more thinner by each second as if it'll take just a few more minutes and the sky would pour down with its tears and none could or would help. It felt as if the Storm was building and was ready to let out the rage  . And I couldn't help but think of how in my life the storm never rested , never got tired of fucking my life every chance it got .
I looked down at the grave and i could only whisper " why? " The question I never get tired of asking but yet I had none to ask the question to . I could hear distant sobs from someone who might have just died but with the circle life is , these sobs never really end , you might lose someone but their memories never go anywhere , they never vanish because you know somewhere deep down that you can't make more memories with them anymore and before you know it, you realise you only have limited days with someone because you don't know when the death visits them and they'll take them away from you and you could just stand there and watch them go, letting them go , something I grew accustomed to at a young age  . But my cares were less of the world because like every selfish person in world, I too grieve for my own sorrows and miseries .

I rested the bouquets I bought on both the graves  and just stood there trying to hold back my emotions but someone once said you cry not because you're weak but because you've held on for so long and I had held on for so long , fought back my tears each night when the nightmares would visit me and then I let my tears travel down my face . If life decided to end right now , I would happily go for death but she always used to say , death is not a solution yet she herself left me , to fight my own battle when she knew I was nothing but a coward.  A huge fucking coward.

I laid down next to her grave , Frieda Daniel . And stared at the sky up above just like she did the day she was rested in the ground beneath. 

" You know when I will die , all you have do is look up at the sky and I'll be there looking down at you " she used to say .

Tears starts flowing more furiously down my cheek as I remember the days I spent with her in the garden of old house.  I remember the tee shirt she used to wear every time she used to plant a flower in the garden with her hands in gloves and her hair tied up in a bun and I would come around frolicking my skirt that I used to wear and annoyed her . I smile through tear on the small memory that I made with her , how could I had known that she was just going to leave soon.  How could I have known ?! I closed my eyes and my tear fell down my cheek like a raindrop and tried to remember her , how could I forget her , how could I have ? How could I have forgotten her beautiful crooked smile , those wrinkled eyes , that face ? How could she leave me all alone and thought I could win the world the way she did ?

" How dare you leave me all alone ? How dare you , when you knew you were all I had ?" I cried whispering.  Angry that she left I pulled out the grass from the ground and threw it in the air . Sons escaping my throat . For so long , I held back and just numbly stared at the sky as if it were my home but I was tired , so tired .

I turned to the next grave , Alycia Anderson .
" How could you have loved me and then left me ? Why ?" I sobbed so hard. Clutching my heart as if it would mend my broken heart .

I always questioned why would she do this to me , why would she love me when all had to do was leave me too just like mom did .

" Why would you do this to me ? When you both knew I would never be happy if you left . How could you both have given up " I cried , I wanted to scream at them , fight both of them but they are no longer alive .