ALWAYS ; FOREVER {B.W.S}

chapter 35

" I wanna take you out on a date Bradley , the dinner , night and us , just you and me "

He looked at me like he had seen a ghost . a deadpanned look on his face ,  not saying anything which only drove me crazy because the first time I ask a guy out to not ruin what I could have , he went silent and I started regretting it but still spoke

" Okay , please just say something"

" I uh - scarlett " he stuttered a bit Shaking his head and I made my steps backward to give him space to calm down , I guess

" I know that you might've never expected this from me but I can't care enough about how I have never wanted to date before this . I can't think of any other way to keep us together . I know I'm crazy and I'm not stable , I have anger issues and I'm definitely not an ideal date material and how you're way too perfect for someone like me , I mean I'm a crazy person and you wouldn't ever want to be with someone like me but I am Daring to take a chance with you , are you!? " I said in a breath but he Just stared at me .

" Scarlett , I don't know what to say . I've been wanting to take you out for a long time but right after the fight , it seems absurd doesn't it ?" When the words left his lips , I expected myself to be angry but I was calm and hurt.  Maybe because it wasn't what I expected .

" And besides you are drunk and I'm sure you don't mean it " he said . It could've been right but it wasn't .

When I didn't say anything he looked at me and made his steps towards me and held my arms in a slight grip, a comforting touch .

" I am not rejecting you , hell I would never but we have been going up and down a lot and if you would've asked a week ago I probably might've said yes but right now it seems like you're wanting to take me out because you want to fix it that way. And i don't want either of us to go out together just for the sake of that . I know you want it so do i and believe me when the time is right i would but scarlett think about it before you ask me something that big , It isn't even about me , its about you really " his tone was way too calm and i was starting to think through . Maybe it was an impulse to ask him out.  Like what was I thinking , this is going to fix it . The more I processed the words the more I realised that I had let my wall down . It wasn't unintentional for something just because I wanted to fix something that never even started and right then my thoughts changed but I kept on listening him .

" I mean think about it scarlett , do you see yourself with someone ? Do you really see yourself dating someone , going out with them , talk about all the romantic stuff and all the kisses and clinginess . Can you do that ? Can you really want someone so much that it might hurt ? I mean just that night you were so unsure and the days after that when I asked you if you wanted to be with me , if you didn't see me as a friend , what makes you think right now that you might want something ! Can you really see yourself hand in hands with someone , them calling you their girlfriend or a relationship ? Can you really see yourself into that ? " I looked at him , not stare but subtly look at him , he wasn't angry , he wasn't happy either , there was a pinch of hurt that reflected in his eyes because I could understand , how he might've wanted these things and he and I both know I'm not ready .

" I'm sorry i- uh " I was interrupted by him moving his hands down my hand while he said
" I know and I know how big of deal it might be to you to ask me this and how you might've expected me to agree straight away but scarlett I've been saying this and I'll keep on saying this , I only want this if you want it and I would not want to waste my time on something that isn't even possible okay and I don't mean it harshly but this is the truth .  I know you can't be the typical girlfriend to someone but I could think of a possibility of you being a girlfriend and the day will come when you're ready and if we're still together then , I'll say yes " and I nodded.