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xvii. new & strange
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Matilda woke feeling strangely on Sunday morning. She hadn't slept well the night before. After Ron had so surprisingly confessed to her that he liked her. Which she was having a hard time understanding. What does he mean when he says he likes her? Like, more than a friend? It had to be. No one confesses feelings of friendship – do they?
She hadn't told any of her roommates about what happened and so she was left to drown in questions all on her own.
Feelings weren't something that Matilda had a lot of understanding of. Friendship – romance it was all still new to her, and she was having a hard time separating the two relationships recently. Until now feelings and romance were things she never truly thought about. Matilda had always been too busy with worrying about other things – things like classwork, books, and achievements to be caught up in something like a crush – something that seemed too minuscule. Something that she once believed would only hold her back from being the greatest.
Sure, she noticed her physical attraction to others. Asher Morgenstern was one of the best-looking guys at the school – she was never one to deny that. In her first year at Hogwarts Matilda also took notice to her attraction to Amelia Fittleworth, a friend of her older sister Harper. She was tall, but not as tall as Harper, and she had long, almost firetruck red hair, clearly fake, but it suited her tan skin well.
Matilda was aware physical attraction was a thing and she knew it was normal to find others attractive, but she never acted upon those attractions because she didn't care enough to do so. She always put herself first. She and her intellect were always the most important things to her. But things have changed all of a sudden, and Matilda couldn't find a rational explanation as to why – and that was killing her.
Does she like Ron? She might. There was certainly a difference in the way she feels about him than others. But if that's what indicated her feelings for Ron then what about Harry? Matilda felt very strongly about Harry. He's the only person Matilda has ever allowed to get so close to her. They shared so much together – including their first kiss. Does she like Harry? Does Harry like her? If so, he hasn't said anything about it. And his liking Cho wouldn't make much sense if he liked Matilda.
Matilda's head was an absolute mess.
Grumbling she pulled herself out of bed. She was to meet Harry and the others at the Great Hall so that they could go to the owlery after breakfast. Her heart leaped and the palms of her hands became sweaty when she realized she'd be seeing Ron again. She hoped it be like it was with Harry after the kiss – maybe it wouldn't be awkward.
The other girls had already left the dorm when Matilda began to get dressed for the day. She didn't take too much time in finding an outfit since she was almost late. She chose a green and blue plaid overall dress that stopped mid-thing. Under the dress to protect herself from the cold winds outside, she pulled on a white turtleneck and a pair of black stockings. And to finish her outfit off, Matilda chose a pair of velvet Mary Jane platforms that were the same color blue of the lines running down and across her dress.
