behind closed doors (one shot) a.g.

2.

I woke up to Harmony gone and I jump up. I run downstairs to her watching TV with my mom.

I sigh in relief and join them on the couch. Harmony immediately goes on my lap and hugs me.

"Y/N.. Are you okay?" My mom says softly as she looks at me.

I must've looked like shit.

I pick up my phone and see Ariana's text.

"Leave Harmony at my mom's and get home."

I just felt like breaking all over again. I knew I was going to get it.

"I have to go mom." I say quietly and bring Harmony upstairs to get dressed.

"It's so early. Why don't you stay for a late lunch?" My mom says as she follows behind me.

"Joan wants to see Harmony and Ari wants to spend time with me."

My mom rolls her eyes.

"Joan sees her just about everyday. I see her maybe twice a year." My mom exclaims.

"I promise I'll bring her back to stay for this weekend, but right now its decided."

I grab the little things I brought here and give my mom a kiss before leaving.

"Love you Mom."

I drive to Joan's house and bring Harmony to the door. I knock and Joan immediately answers.

"My precious baby!" She exclaims as she picks up Harmony.

Harmony was very small for her age. I honestly blame myself because I barely took care of myself when I was pregnant to her on top of Ariana's abuse.

"I'll try to have her out of your hair by tonight." I joke, but was hoping I could keep that promise.

"Oh don't worry! I'll keep her for the night or week. I don't mind." Joan says and gives Harmony a kiss.

"We will see." I say as I look at Harmony who looked needy and tired.

"I'll see you later beautiful." I give her a kiss and go back to my car.

I honestly didn't want to face Ariana alone.

Harmony being awake and around kept Ariana sane and nice.

Only one time she was so needy that she made me give her a quickie in our own bathroom.

I blanked out the whole ride to our home and noticed Ariana was already there.

I take my time to get out the car and enter the house. Ariana comes out and she was still in her everyday signature outfit.

"Good morning babe." She says and gives me a kiss in which I return.

"So why did you want me home?" I ask jumping to the point.

Her facial expression drops.

"You didn't want to be alone with your wife?"

No.

"Yes I did! I just know you are busy in the studio and all." I say.

I was hoping she would accept that and move on without a beat down.

"Yeah. I had to leave early because I was so tired. I've been writing since I left you last night."

Chills ran up my body after she mentioned last night.

It just made me want to vomit.

"Speaking of, I wanted you to take a pregnancy test."

She hands me the test I didn't even notice she was holding.

"Why? Do I look fat?" I ask trying to coverup my questioning.

"No. You are still very sexy. It just feels different when I'm fucking you. Like when I fucked you when you were pregnant with Harmony, it was extremely different. Not bad, just tight." She seemed to be in a daze as she stares at me like prey.

It's weird how she thinks it was just sex when really it was rape.

Maybe I was tighter because it hurts every time ESPECIALLY during pregnancy.

I nod and go into the bathroom to take it.

In all honesty, I was hoping it was negative.

The mother in me wanted another miracle, but my mental health just can't take it.

I barely made it through Harmony's pregnancy.

It seems as if I was rape twice as much when I was pregnant.

I know Ariana will happily bulldoze Harmony to Joan and that's not what I want for my child.

I'm able to watch and care for her and no offense to Joan, but IM her mother.

Not my mom.

Not Joan.

Me.

Time sped past and I stared at the test in front of me.

I couldn't help, but silently cry at the very dark lines on the test.

Ariana comes in without warning and I jump up.

"So what does it say?" She asks in eagerness.

I hand her the test and her eyes glow.

"We are having another baby!" She squeals and runs over to me to kiss me in which I sloppily return.

She pulls away and eyes me.

"You aren't happy?" She asks as her anger rises.

"I'm happy."

"But you don't mean it. You don't want to have my baby?!" She booms.

"Ari I never said-"

"But you look it! You're such an ungrateful whore."

She brings her hand back and slaps me in my face.

The force knocks me to the wall. Before I can even gather myself, she punches me in the chest and grabs me around the neck.

I couldn't even take a breath so I was already at the edge.

"You act like I won't kill you!" She screams and tightens her grip around my neck.

The tingling of my fingers and face caused my eyes to slowly close.

At the very thread of the life left in me, she lets go and I inhale.

She immediately pulls me into her chest and combs my hair back.

After a few moments of silence, she speaks.

"You make me like this you know. I don't want to hurt you, especially when you are pregnant. Just.. be better okay?"

I don't even respond. I was so worn out from that near-death experience.