you drown the sun in me with your teary clouds in the sky, filling my mind with gray as you take the stars away from me. you don't even let me follow them. you keep me beneath the sea in your deteriorating misery just to desecrate me into feeling like nothing.
i cant even go one night without you pushing me into the sand beneath the crashing waves. i always say goodnight just for you to call me out and show me more of your hate.
i'm tired of feeling like this. i have cried every night this week because of you. all i can do is pray that she will be awake still when you're done with your dark words, just so i can feel safe with the one i love and not fall into my nightmares. i hide her from you because i know you'd only try to ruin me more by taking her out of my life.
i don't understand what you get out of all this, the controlling. you want me to be your puppet because you cant even fix yourself.
you only use me to fix all your mistakes rather than facing them head on. i'm not your second chance to change your life. i don't want to live the life you planned to because you regret your own. i don't fucking care what abuse you went through in your past because it is NOT okay to do the same shit to me.
i shouldn't be crying every day and feeling worthless every time i want to close my eyes to rest. you wonder why i dont sleep when you give me so many reasons for my mind to run and question everything about myself mentally and physically.
sometimes, i wish you lost the battle. maybe then, i'd be more free.
