𝖨'𝖬 𝖲𝖮𝖱𝖱𝖸 | 𝗋. 𝗍𝖺𝗇𝖺𝗄𝖺

𝐎

DEAR,

RYUNOSUKE TANAKA

my chest feels tight, seeing you with her.

it's worsening, i know it's worsening.

it's getting harder to do basic human needs at this point, it's getting harder to talk, it's getting harder to breathe, it's getting harder to live.

and most of all, it's getting harder seeing you with her, seeing how you smile how you used to smile with me but now you do with her, how your eyes shone the same light you used to with me, but now with her, and your goofy damn smile i loved, but now you only do it with her.

i want you to be happy, i truly do, but it sucks when it's not with me.

it sucks because..

i still fucking love you.

it hurts knowing your date of death is coming in soon, and there's nothing i could do about it.

knowing I'll never see the smile of your face when we used to meet up together as kids, when you used to be so happy to see me but now,

I'm just a distant memory.

i tried talking to you again, but you barely remember my last name.

you almost saw the flowers coming out of my throat today, i was lucky that kiyoko came walking in the hall for you to be distracted enough to not pay any more attention to me.

it's getting harder to hide this, you know.

i wish i knew what i would have to go through before loving you, maybe I'd listen this time.

for fucks sake, i lived with a victim yet still decided to go on and love someone who doesn't even give a damn about me anymore.

but I don't blame you, I'm nothing special.

love,

y/n