𝖨'𝖬 𝖲𝖮𝖱𝖱𝖸 | 𝗋. 𝗍𝖺𝗇𝖺𝗄𝖺

𝐑

DEAR,

RYUNOSUKE TANAKA

blood dropped down my chin after coughing up piles of petals into my bathroom sink.

i looked at myself, questioning why i had to be so damn stupid, nobody deserves this kind of pain, except me.

i looked at myself, i looked at my distasteful structure, i was dying, i was really.. really dying.

i had so many dreams, so many things i wanted to do. why me?

why do i have to acknowledge he doesn't love me anymore while going through so much psychical pain at the same time, why?

my throats feels dry, it's getting harder to even wash my hair, cook food, do my laundry, clean the house, human needs.

every time i think about him, blood comes pouring out of my mouth with the essence of white bloody flowers.

i think nishinoya's starting to notice, but i denied. i always deny.

you know, kiyoko's really pretty. i understand why you love her so much, she's everything i couldn't be, and everything i will never be.

but also everything i wish i could be.

I'm getting paler, every time i look in the bathroom mirror i could see myself changing in both appearance and personality.
I've gotten quieter, it's hard to talk.

i wonder if anyone knows I'm dying, if anyone knows I'm in so much pain.

it hurts to see others living your dreams.

love,

y/n