A Love as Hard as This

Chapter 7

Richelle's Perspective:

"Noah, really, what are you doing here?" I ask, still in disbelief. Why would he come here? Why would anyone? I guess I'm just so used to being nothing to everyone that it's hard to accept anyone caring about me, especially Noah.

"I really just came to make sure you were okay.. I've heard from the others that you don't miss rehearsal for anything. I wanted to know that you weren't, I don't know, dead or something."

"And why would you care if something happened to me?"

"Because...I care about you." he says, near a whisper.

"Noah," I sigh. "Why would you care about me?  I've only ever been mean to you. You have absolutely no reason to care about me. And you shouldn't."

"I don't know why. I just do."

After a moment of awkward silence, I suggest we go up to my room. It's better than staying down here. I can see that he's surveying my house, and how empty it is. There's many reasons for that, that j don't want to get into. My room's a bit more personal, so hopefully it won't arise as many suspicions.

I open the door and walk in, sitting on my bed. Noah's still standing at the doorway, looking really unsure. I gesture for him to come in and sit beside me, hoping to ease his unrest a little.

"You shouldn't have come." I mutter.

"I had to."

"Why?"

He thinks for a moment, but still doesn't come up with an answer. "I don't know."

Suddenly, I feel a warm presence on my right hand. I look, and see that Noah's hand is rested on top of mine. His other hand then taps my jawline lightly, forcing me to look up at him. His blue eyes bore into mine, making me feel uncomfortable. Uncomfortable, and bare. Like he's stripping my cover away.

I can tell that he's going to lean in, and I can't have that. Because I know that if I kiss him, there will be no turning back. I'm already falling so hard for him, I'll fall if I do this. And I can't do that.

"Noah, no." I say.

His eyes fill with a hint of sadness, and his face falls a little. So little that no one else would probably detect it, but I did. "But...why?"

"Because, Noah. I can't."

"Why can't you, Richelle? I can tell that you want to."

"Just because I wave to doesn't mean I will. Noah, please just understand that I can't." I whisper.

Another moment of silence passes. He's thinking over what I said. "Okay."

"Okay? You're not going to press it?"

"If that's what you want, I'll leave you alone. It's not like I want to force you into anything." he says. I opened my mouth, wanting to thank him, but he shot me a glance that told me he still had to say something.

"Richelle. I know that you probably already know this, but I like you. I don't care that you're mean, I don't care that you're distant, I don't care that you're a mystery. And I don't know why. But what I do know is that you feel the same way. I'm not going to ask anyone of you, and I'm not going to ask why. You just needed to know my side."

I smile. I can't help it, for some reason, his words touch me. I owe him some sort of explication.

"Noah, I like you too, okay? But, I just can't be with you. And it hurts me, but it's the best thing. I'm sorry, Noah. In any other world, I sound love to be with you. But we live in this one."

I'm almost crying at this point. It's paining me to be so blunt, I know I'm hurting him too. Probably hurting him more. I wish I didn't have to, but I do.

"Richelle?" he asks, and I turn my head back to him. Strangely, his eyes are filled with hope again. "Can we at least be friends?"

I think it over. Friends. That doesn't seem bad at all. I can do that.

I return his smile, and say, "Yes. We can be friends."

He pulls me into a hug. I feel amazing. This is the first time in my life I've had a friend.

Noah's Perspective:

I'm so happy to be friends with Richelle. But as we pull away from the hug, all of her striking features catch my eye.

There's no way that I'll ever be able to hide my feelings though. It's good that we're friends now, but we're going to be more than that, eventually.