The Reckless Reign (Book 3, The Culled Crown Series)

Chapter 34

Guest Rooms.
Reubinon Palace, Pellarmus.
Two days after the attack.

I held tight to the bathing room counter as I opened the door and stepped out into the bedroom. Both girls stiffened and turned in my direction, their eyes wide, telling me without words that I'd been the topic of their discussion.

That voice in my blood remained silent and I was grateful.

Annalise glanced behind me to the bathroom. I could tell she wanted to ask questions, but something kept her quiet. Heidi, however, looked openly concerned—an expression that was frightening when paralleled with her typical attitude of indifference. I offered her a small smile that I hoped was reassuring and tried to take a step into the bedroom.

I made it one step before my knees gave out slightly and I swayed, careening violently towards a nearby dresser. My body collided with the edge of it just as Heidi reached me, her fingers tight as they caught my arm. A vase of wilted flowers crashed to the floor, spilling water and throwing shards of glass everywhere.

Like me, Heidi wasn't wearing shoes and she jumped back, only freezing when Annalise called for the two of us to be still. Heidi kept a firm hold on me as the healer cleaned the broken vase from around our bare feet. Once it was safe to walk again, they helped me onto the bed. I muttered my halfhearted thanks and collapsed against the pillows.

Annalise went out into the hall to ask someone about changing the dressing on my side, leaving Heidi and me alone. The silence between us seemed to stretch on and on. A large chasm that I felt too weak to jump across.  Still, I grappled for something to say to her.

Thank you.

I'm sorry.

You were so brave.

I had million little things I wanted to say, but none of them would cross my lips. Not now, not to Heidi. She'd balk at any compliment or apology. It was possible she'd be upset if she thought I'd noticed any ounce of weakness in her. She fought so hard to appear unmoved, unphased.

But I was moved.

I was phased.

Heidi had just turned to move away from me when I caught hold of her wrist and pulled her to the edge of the bed. She sat gingerly on the mattress next to me, her brow furrowing as I winced at the shift of the bed. I kept a hold of her as I asked, "Are you alright?"

Heidi seemed almost surprised by the question—as if no one had asked it. She pursed her lips. "My face and arms took the brunt of it. And Nadia healed me just a little. I told her not to, but she insisted. She's—She's stayed with Cohen mostly. He's needed her. No one here will say it, but I think there's been times when it was only her ability keeping him here. Alive, I mean."

I chewed on the inside of my cheek, considering that. "I heard Annalise telling Darragh something similar. She seemed to think that it was bad."

She nodded. "It is bad. Very bad. And Nadia's beat. She hasn't slept in days and won't eat anything. She came here and healed me some, even though I argued with her about it. I think she would've healed you too, but she's growing weaker by the minute and I think she was afraid to burn herself out on accident. She...I don't know what she'll do if he dies."

"She needs to conserve that power," I said. "Especially if Cohen needs her to be at full force."

My voice was hoarse with exhaustion and screams I couldn't exactly remember. I wondered what had happened in the aftermath of the attack. I could only recall the barest flashes of panic and fear and pain. I remembered holding onto Heidi and seeing her hold onto Tavin. She'd looked like a child. Small and fragile. Just then, sitting on the edge of my bed, she looked like a young woman. Far older than her fifteen years.