The Reckless Reign (Book 3, The Culled Crown Series)

Chapter 13

The Royal Dining Room.
Oredison Palace, Gazda.
The Welcome Dinner.

For a moment, I didn't understand what she meant—and then it dawned on me and I was transported back to a conversation I'd had with Kai weeks ago.

We'd been at my family's homestead, laying in bed together. Kissing. His hands had been everywhere. My hands had been everywhere. My mother was gone with a patient and we'd had the house to ourselves.

I was ready.

Goddess, I loved him and I was ready to be with him. Ready to really be with him. And I probably would have had sex with him then, but he'd stopped us.

"Your mother is right. We shouldn't. You aren't on a tonic and we don't have any sort of contraceptive. With the way things are...with the danger—We can't risk it. If you got pregnant..."

At the time, I'd thought he was speaking common sense. Sure, I'd been a little disappointed that life—that me being marked and a fugitive—was keeping us from being able to be together in that way. But I'd realized he was right. My mother's warning to be careful was right.

Waiting was the mature thing to do.

But as Heidi's comment and that memory slamming into me full force, it occurred to me that Kai hadn't only stopped us from having sex out of worry for me. I wasn't the problem. The reason we couldn't risk being together had nothing to do with the brewing rebellion and everything to do with his birthright. He'd stopped us because if I'd gotten pregnant, I could have very easily conceived the next heir.

The dinner table came back into focus and I blinked at Heidi, stunned and unsure what to say. I felt like I'd been slapped. My face heated and, for a moment, I dared a look at Kai. His jaw was clenched and he wasn't looking at me.

Heidi turned towards him too. "Nothing to say for yourself, King?"

Kai's head shot up. "You can take cheap shots at me all day long, but it would be in your best interest to leave Monroe out of it."

Her smile widened. "Is that a threat?"

His eyes were cold as stone. I could almost sense the storm brewing.

Heidi sneered at him. "You going to send me back to that ce—?"

Caine cut her off. "That's enough. You will not spoil this evening by bickering. Kaius is your sovereign and you will be respectful."

Heidi stood up and leaned across the table. She grabbed my wine glass. "If I have to be here for this farce, I'm at least getting a drink out of it." She fell back into her chair and downed what was left of my wine.

Isla exchanged a look with Darragh. He was stone-faced, but I could tell she was trying to hide a smile. It was evident, in that moment, that behind her façade of royal elegance, she was eating this drama up.

I wasn't sure if everyone had understood Heidi's jab, but it wouldn't take much for them to figure it out. Nadia had already said that the rebels believed I might have been involved with Kai's deception. The idea that I could be sleeping with Kai with the intention of trying to get pregnant—trying to win the Culling by conceiving an heir—was wicked.

It was dirty.

It was a reminder of Kai's hesitance to be with me at all.

I fought for something to say. I knew regardless of Caine shutting down the conversation, Heidi wanted a response from me. I wished I could be witty. I wished there was a way to tell her the truth—to clear myself—without airing all of my issues with Kai.