Every morning, upon reaching school, I would wait for her to make her presence. Only once she arrives, my day at school would begin. If some day she is absent to school, those become the hardest days to get through.
We used to sit in 2 separate rows of the class.
She used to sit in the first row, bench number 3 and I used to sit in the second row on bench number 5.
So I always had a clear view of her.
Just by default my eyes would shift towards her. I literally was no in control of where I was seeing. I would, in every few minutes look at her and get a sense of relief and happiness.
I just didn't understand, how could someone take control over me as the way she did.
Probably because she was indeed so very Special.
And a few times she would notice, that I am seeing her and she would turn back and see me and I instantly would take my eyes off her.
It felt embarrassing sometimes knowing that she has caught me seeing her constantly.
But Dil hai ki maanta Nahi ......
She was the only thing that was running through my mind and I forgot that I was going to school to study and not to.....u know what I mean.....
Every time she turned back to see me seeing her I so desperately crave that I could still see her in the eyes because eye to eye contact sometimes could do wonders. But that never happened. I think she knew that I had fallen for her.
I personally feel but I am not too sure, that all my classmates knew about the fact that there was something going on between us.
Everyone probably noticed that I had fallen for her. I cannot confirm this but I just feel that there was a talk around the school that I was in absolute love with her.
I could never Confess, more so I couldn't even make an eye to eye contact with her when I needed to do. I did everything possible to see her smiling and Happy. Even when somebody cracked a joke, my eyes would turn to her to see the Most Amazing and Mesmerising Smile which could literally cure every wound in the body.
Such was the power her smile possessed.
Days converted to months, months converted to an year, an year converted to two years and after every high there has to be a low, in the same way after happiness there's got to be a heartbreaking moment.
Those two years passed so rapidly that I just didn't realise that these moments won't last forever. Two years is such a huge amount of time and I couldn't take our relationship to the next level.
When you are happy, time passes in a flash and that's what happened. It had been two years and we were still just and just Friends.
And finally the day arrived that I would want to forget and delete from my memory but the deepest of scars can never be forgotten.
It was Jan 7, 2014.........
