Intellectual Badass

Chapter 7: Intellectual Hungry Hippo

"BWAHAHAHA! *gasp* Your *wheeze* face. That *gasp* was *wheeze* amazing!" I doubled over laughing and wheezing, after we had sprinted out of the school and to my car that was still around the block.

"Shut up," Lexy hissed and frowned, not even winded. Totally not fair, just saying.

"How 'bout, no. Haha! *gasp* That's what you get *huff* for challenging me!" I stuck my tongue out.

"Gosh, shut up already. I'm sorry for doubting your skills." He rolled his eyes.

"LALALA can't hear you! What did you say? Say it louder."

"I'M SORRY FOR DOUBTING YOUR SKILLS!"

"That's what she said," I stuck my tongue out, again.

He rolled his eyes, "Okay, do you want to get ice cream now?"

"HELL YEAH!!!!!" I opened the car, and got in the driver's seat, "Lez go!"

*30 minutes ago*

"Bring it dipshit!" Lexy said.

He has just doomed himself. Staff room, let's do this! I pulled this trick mid-sophomore year, and they ended up canceling school the next day because I had screwed up the teachers stuff so much it took a day to put it back. Now they have security cameras... LOT'S MORE FUN!!!!! Someone gets to hack the tapes! Which, by the way, will not be me, because I can't do that kind of stuff, I roll with physical tricks not electronic.

"Soooo... Lexy.... How are you with hacking?" I grinned.

"Are we gonna hack the system? Did that ages ago, end of sophomore year," he said smugly.

"Oohhh... that thing. That was you? Nice." I remember that. The system suddenly started popping smiley faces all over the place, giving mustaches to the teachers and blotting out all the important stuff with random things like "COWS EAT GRASS" "BIRDS CAN FLY" "FREE HOTDOGS", but it just took an hour or two, so we just had to leave at 8:30am and go back to school at like 10:30am. Rookie. I don't think anyone knows I caused the random shutdown days except for Ash and Jules. *insert evil smiley face*

"A compliment, I see."

"Yeah. Good job, you successfully gave us a late start day," I said sarcastically.

"Yup! You really can't do much more than that," he said, like he had something over me. Obviously, he didn't catch my sarcasm there, but just you wait buddy, just wait till we're done today.

"Hmm." I said nonchalantly, "well I asked you if you could hack, because I'm gonna need something later."

"Okay. Sure, what do I need to do?"

"You'll see. It's pretty basic, but even though I think hacking is cool, I'm too lazy to learn how to do it."

"I have something over you, I have something over you." he grinned.

I sighed, oh Lexy... I really don't need to hack because my physical pranks are so much more permanent than your little viruses that were fixed in an hour.

We arrived at the door, locked, of course, I expected nothing else. I took a paperclip out of some of my folders and a bobby pin that was stuck in my ponytail. I unfolded each and unlocked the door with my unicorn skills, boo yeah! I bet you can't do that Lexy!

Ahhh... the secret teacher lair, so pristine and white. Just wait till I'm done with you.

Do not ask why I have silly string in my backpack, just don't. Okay, now I just set myself up to get asked that question. Well, the thing is way back, when I was a wee little freshman, this bitchy senior comes up to me, and starts "bullying" me, just cuz she could. She wasn't very good at it, I kind of wanted to laugh at her and pity her at the same time. Queen Bee Freak just didn't know when to stop because, I, even when I was small and meek, still had major skills, and for some reason I was about to go to Jules house and we were gonna use silly string for something, so I had some with me. So I take out the can, with seriously fast ninja skills, and I spray like in her face and all over her cloths, and of course, everyone majorly flips out and takes billions of pictures and videos, and she's like squealing and flailing and being completely hilarious. Plus it smells gross... Next day, I'm just checking social media as usual and it has totally spammed my entire feed and bye bye queen bee status to her, so I decided that silly string is extremely useful and now I always keep some handy. Plus, it's super hard to clean up, and you know me, all messy and shit.