Scream Praises [Cashton mpreg]

Week 30

"The baby can't just say 'just kidding'!"

"Well, I don't know what else to tell you," Ashton shrugs from the passenger seat. Calum's still a bit bitter that Ashton had called shotgun, even though it meant sitting next to Michael.

"It's called Braxton-Hicks," Luke explains. "He's getting ready to have the baby, but the baby isn't ready."

"Like a turkey," Michael says helpfully, turning around to grin at Calum when they stop at a red light. "You keep waiting for it to be done cooking, and the timer on the over says it is, but the turkeys like, 'nah,'"

Calum stares at him in disbelief. Michael just compared his unborn child to cooking a turkey.

Ashton scoffs and says, "Don't compare me to an oven!"

"Don't compare my kid to a turkey!" Calum adds

"Hey, at least I was awake to talk to the actual doctor," Michael shoots Calum and look in the rearview mirror and starts driving when the light turns.

As far as Calum can figure out, Ashton called Michael and Luke, then sat on the floor next to him in the elevator until Michael could drag him into the lobby. Calum can't believe Ashton stayed with him, to be honest.

"Yeah," Calum mutters miserably. He doesn't want to say why he passed out, he doesn't want Ashton to know its because Calum's afraid of him leaving. He doesn't want Ashton to think that Calum's trying to hold him down.

"You probably won't pass out next time," Ashton chirps, like that's supposed to fucking help.

°°°°

A car pulls out in front of them, forcing Ashton to tap the breaks a tiny bit.

"Cock sucking mother fuckíng cúnts!" Ashton yells. "I'm fucking pregnant! You could have murdered me and my unborn child! Fuckíng whore, I bet he's on his way to suck his cousin's vagina right now."

Calum twists around in the passenger seat to see Luke staring at Ashton in horror. Michael just rolls his eyes and looks back down at his phone.

"I- I don't even know how to swear jar you for that," Luke says softly.

Calum snickers and turns back around in time to see the taillights of the black jeep in front of them. Ashton slams on his brakes and starts screaming again.

"Ashton, it's called a stop light," Calum says in between a couple vulgar words. "You have to stop when it's red."

"Well it was yellow when he stopped!" Ashton scoffs. "He could have made that!"

"You still would have had to stop, mama," Michael reminds him from the backseat. Ashton huffs and crosses his arms, muttering angrily under his breath. The black jeep takes off slowly from the stoplight, causing Ashton to curse again, then continues going thirty miles per hour.

"Hey, its fucking thirty five!" Ashton yells. "Keep it moving, honey! Jesus Christ, you can go at least forty fucktard!"

"How do you have so much anger in that little body?" Michael clicks his tongue. "More importantly, why did we let you drive?"

"Because you love m-" the black jeep is still going too slow, apparently. "Mother of god! Fucking go you lethargic fucking spoon!"

"Ash, babe, chill," Calum says gently, reaching over to grab Ashton's right hand. He tangles their fingers together and brings their hands up to kiss the back of Ashton's softly. "Screaming is not going to get us to McDonalds any faster. You're going to freak the baby out."

"Good," Ashton mumbles. Calum rolls his eyes.

"Guys, I think Ashton broke Luke," Michael announces. Calum twists around again to find Luke still staring at Ashton in horror.

"Oh shit, I forgot goes never driven with Ashton before," Calum frowns. He reaches back with his free hand and slaps Luke's leg harshly, forcing a yelp from the younger boy.

"Ashton is," Luke frowns for a second, mouth forming words that he's probably too afraid to say out loud. After a few seconds, he slouches down in his seat and whispers, "Scary."

Ashton slams on the brakes (they're at a stoplight, Calum notices, thank god). He spins around as far as his seat will allow, grabbing Calum's headrest for support and says, "What was that, Luke?"

"Wonderful!" Luke says quickly, eyes widening. "I said you're wonderful!"

Ashton beams at him and pats his knee gently, then turns back around. Calum rolls his eyes, while Michael reaches over to sling an arm around Luke's neck.

"Don't scare him, mama, he's fragile," Michael scoffs, tugging Luke against his chest. Luke whines and squirms, but Michael's pretty solid in his hugging.

"Quit calling me mama," Ashton quips. Calum grins, because Ashton's cheeks are burning pink and they all know he secretly likes it. "If you want to call me anything, call me dad."

"Daddy!" Michael chirps. Ashton cringes and shoots Calum "the look". Calum's come to know at as the "Why the fuck did you ever become friends with Michael, why did you bring him to New York with you, why did you introduce us, why do you keep him around, why is he always here?" look.

"Ash, I got you pregnant in a skirt and knee high socks. All right you have to the term dad is formally gone," Calum reminds him.

"Wait!" Michael says quickly. Luke chokes when Michael tightens his grip around his neck. Ashton gives Calum a look that's a cross between frantic and angry. "You mean to tell me that you conceived your first born child while Ashton was in a skirt?"

"Yeah, I like his legs in skirts," Calum shrugs. "He's got nice thighs."

"Calum!" Ashton yelps, reaching over and pinching Calum's leg until he starts squirming and swatting him away.

Michael's practically cackling in the backseat, while Luke's flushing a deep scarlet and burying his face in Michael's elbow.

((This was weird, the ending was weird, the fact that they spent the entire chapter in a car is weird.

There's going to be smut in the next chapter ngl

-Mel))